Our sweet little man turned ONE this week. I find this impossible to wrap my head around and still feel like I am processing it through a fog. But there was a party, he has a one-year check-up scheduled at the pediatrician, everyone else says it's true. It is probably so.
Here are a few things we have learned about Declan in our first amazing year with him:
He lives on Soul Train: the kid will dance to the dishwasher, to his little friend Ashley banging two toys together, to actual music...he assumes that pretty much any two sounds in a row count as a steady beat & moves himself accordingly.
He adores big sis: Duh. Don't all younger siblings adore their elder ones? (I'm looking at you, Toby, Tom, Anna...)
He likes to be near the action: he doesn't necessarily need to be INVOLVED in the action, but he needs to be near it. We noticed this when we were still in the hospital after he was born and in the first days after we brought him home. If everyone left the room, even if he was fast asleep, he began to stir and become disgruntled. As soon as the ambient noise returned, he settled down. Now, he is happy to play with a toy in a room by himself, as long as he can hear everyone nearby. He just seems to be comforted by companionship, which I think is pretty sweet.
He seems to have already developed a sense of humor. He enjoys making people laugh and LOVES to laugh with you. If you think something's funny, then it's funny enough for him. Whether it's honking your nose or banging on his high chair, he has a great time watching you enjoy life.
He gives GREAT hugs. This is one of my favorite things these days. Especially if you enter a room for the first time in awhile--or when Daddy gets home from work--he sort of starts to giggle, reaches out both hands, looks like he's going for your eyes, and then wraps his chubby loving arms around your neck and squeezes. And doesn't let go until it seems like it's time. We have been reveling in this innocent and genuine outpouring of love.
He's fairly adaptable: if he goes down late for nap or bed, or is woken up early, he is usually not a total disaster. He seems to be able to roll with changes in routine fairly easily.
He enjoys the thrill of the chase: there is no squeal like the one Declan lets loose as he 'escapes' the room you are in and takes off down the hallway. He laughs a big belly laugh when you say, "I'm gonna get you Declan!" and giggles all the more when you catch him.
A few other recent Declan facts:
Favorite foods: bananas, avocados, pizza
Favorite books: What Shall We Do with the Boo-Hoo Baby (Cressida Cowell), Moo, Baa, La La La (Sandra Boynton), and Fingers and Toes (Parragon Books).
Favorite toys: singing mailbox, singing/jumping monkey (really, anything that plays music for him is his favorite), and he is just starting to get into things that he can roll around, especially balls and cars.
And here is a link to a video of his first year:
http://youtu.be/zsmMbSWDnS4
Happy birthday, Declan! We love you more than words can express.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Staying Home
So I left off in the last post, talking about why we decided for me to stay home this school year. Here is where I'd like to pick up:
Is staying at home hard? Yes, in some ways:
*I love teaching. I feel like I was meant to teach middle school, and I will miss it while I'm gone.
*It can get lonely. I miss grown-ups--although teaching middle school, you don't get to see that many grown-ups (however, some might argue 8th graders are my true peers).
*It can get boring--the same rooms, same toys, same routine each day.
*It's a lot of responsibility--am I too easy on them? Am I teaching them the 'stuff' about life they're supposed to be learning? But you know what--leaving that responsibility to someone else when they're so young--that was infinitely harder for me.
*I hate doing dishes & laundry. I do them a lot now.
But was working full time with my kids in day care harder? Um, no competition. I don't think anything is harder than being a working parent. For me anyway. Because you still have to do all of the parenting stuff--you still have to try to teach them, spend time with them, keep them clean and healthy, encourage and comfort them--but you have so few hours to do it.
The chores don't go away. There is just less time to do them.
To schedule a doctor's appointment for one of Declan's many ear infections, I also had to notify 5 different people at my school, schedule a substitute teacher (which often required more than 20 phone calls and lots of begging--my school is not the most popular place to sub), write lesson plans, and play catch-up at work upon my return.
The schedule we were doing was not sustainable. Not for us. And I admire and respect all the parents who maintain it consistently.
Every day was hard. And long. I mean, from the time the kids left the house to when they returned was almost 11 hours, 5 days a week.
Every day was heartbreaking. The kids were so tired. So tired. All the time. My heart fell to pieces every time I had to nudge their precious faces awake in the morning or look at their over-tired eyes across the dinner table. And it wasn't fair to them.
And I missed them. I would go to fill out Declan's baby book during those months and realize I didn't know what to write.
And it wasn't fair to my students, who often got a teacher with only half a brain, very little sleep, and poor concentration trying to help them prepare for their high-stakes tests.
Looking back, I think the breaking point for me was when I sat Declan down at day care one morning, let go, and he continued sitting up on the floor. All by himself! I cheered! I clapped! I called his teachers' names to show them what he could do!
And they smiled & nodded.
I began to suspect they had seen it before. I asked, and it was true. We had missed him learning to sit up by himself.
That was when I decided there had to be another way. That the cost was too great for me. Because on top of the exhaustion and heartbreak, we were missing it. Missing him.
We loved their day care and it was hard to leave, but it was harder to leave them there.
And now the back-to-school sales have ended without a visit from me, and I haven't attended a pointless meeting since May, for the first time in 12 years.
In August, I began taking care of the sweet daughter of some long-time friends, and I'm excited about that too. I look forward to getting to know her and to my kids getting to play with her. And most of all, I look forward to being with my children. Pretty much every day. How cool is that?!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Is staying at home hard? Yes, in some ways:
*I love teaching. I feel like I was meant to teach middle school, and I will miss it while I'm gone.
*It can get lonely. I miss grown-ups--although teaching middle school, you don't get to see that many grown-ups (however, some might argue 8th graders are my true peers).
*It can get boring--the same rooms, same toys, same routine each day.
*It's a lot of responsibility--am I too easy on them? Am I teaching them the 'stuff' about life they're supposed to be learning? But you know what--leaving that responsibility to someone else when they're so young--that was infinitely harder for me.
*I hate doing dishes & laundry. I do them a lot now.
But was working full time with my kids in day care harder? Um, no competition. I don't think anything is harder than being a working parent. For me anyway. Because you still have to do all of the parenting stuff--you still have to try to teach them, spend time with them, keep them clean and healthy, encourage and comfort them--but you have so few hours to do it.
The chores don't go away. There is just less time to do them.
To schedule a doctor's appointment for one of Declan's many ear infections, I also had to notify 5 different people at my school, schedule a substitute teacher (which often required more than 20 phone calls and lots of begging--my school is not the most popular place to sub), write lesson plans, and play catch-up at work upon my return.
The schedule we were doing was not sustainable. Not for us. And I admire and respect all the parents who maintain it consistently.
Every day was hard. And long. I mean, from the time the kids left the house to when they returned was almost 11 hours, 5 days a week.
Every day was heartbreaking. The kids were so tired. So tired. All the time. My heart fell to pieces every time I had to nudge their precious faces awake in the morning or look at their over-tired eyes across the dinner table. And it wasn't fair to them.
And I missed them. I would go to fill out Declan's baby book during those months and realize I didn't know what to write.
And it wasn't fair to my students, who often got a teacher with only half a brain, very little sleep, and poor concentration trying to help them prepare for their high-stakes tests.
Looking back, I think the breaking point for me was when I sat Declan down at day care one morning, let go, and he continued sitting up on the floor. All by himself! I cheered! I clapped! I called his teachers' names to show them what he could do!
And they smiled & nodded.
I began to suspect they had seen it before. I asked, and it was true. We had missed him learning to sit up by himself.
That was when I decided there had to be another way. That the cost was too great for me. Because on top of the exhaustion and heartbreak, we were missing it. Missing him.
We loved their day care and it was hard to leave, but it was harder to leave them there.
And now the back-to-school sales have ended without a visit from me, and I haven't attended a pointless meeting since May, for the first time in 12 years.
In August, I began taking care of the sweet daughter of some long-time friends, and I'm excited about that too. I look forward to getting to know her and to my kids getting to play with her. And most of all, I look forward to being with my children. Pretty much every day. How cool is that?!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Back to Work
Going back to work after maternity leave (a long, long time ago at this point...) was hard. It was much harder than I expected it to be. I expected it to be similar to going back to work after Carson, but it was approximately 100 times harder for me.
After Carson was born, I finished out the school year and all of the next one working only part-time, which was an ideal situation. But paying for part-time day care for two kids would have cost us money for me to work.
So...I went back.
Here's how the daily schedule went:
5:00am: wake up, get myself ready for work, eat, pump
6:00am: Brandon woke up Carson, got her dressed & started on breakfast while I finished putting lunches & bottles & bibs & clothes into bags for the day
6:30am: Brandon leaves for work, I wake up Declan. Feed and dress him.
6:50am: begin the tooth-brushing battle with Carson, which always ended with at least one of us in tears (but damnit, her teeth were brushed every day). Do C's hair. Another epic battle.
7:00am: load the car and head out (realistically, this was always more like 7:15)
7:50am: arrive at day care, drop kids off in their classrooms, head to my work
8:15am: arrive at work.
8:15-4:15: work, pump (I only got walked in on 3 times--and only once by a student), attend meetings, etc.
4:20pm: finish bus duty and dash out of school to pick up the kids (if I missed this departure time by even 3 minutes, it would easily add 20 minutes to my total trip time)
4:40: arrive at day care, attempt to quickly get as much information as possible about my children's days, interact with their teachers, classmates & other parents picking up, load car, begin driving home
5:30-5:45pm: arrive home, unload car, begin making dinner, feed Declan
6:30pm: eat dinner
7:00pm: begin bath time and bedtime routine
8:00pm: hopefully both kids are in bed. Brandon does laundry while I do dishes or vice versa. Then he works (my work return coincided perfectly with his busy season starting up) while I prep bottles and lunches for the next day. 10:00: I collapse into bed, hoping for only one or two nighttime feedings with Declan, feeling like I barely saw my kids--except in the rearview mirror--or my husband--except for a quick kiss goodnight.
I do not post this to complain. Many people keep far more difficult schedules than this and do it without the partnership that Brandon and I have. I am not complaining, because we chose for me to go back to work. We chose to have two children, God-willing. To complain about something you consciously choose for yourself makes little sense. The reason I post this is so I can remind myself why we made the next big decision for our family.
I have quit teaching for now.
And that's why I'm posting this. Because I know there will be days as a stay at home mom I'll feel like the day was hard. I'll be frustrated or overwhelmed or just plain tired of my house. I want to be able to look back at that schedule and remember one of the many reasons we made this choice....
And that's what the next post will be about!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
After Carson was born, I finished out the school year and all of the next one working only part-time, which was an ideal situation. But paying for part-time day care for two kids would have cost us money for me to work.
So...I went back.
Here's how the daily schedule went:
5:00am: wake up, get myself ready for work, eat, pump
6:00am: Brandon woke up Carson, got her dressed & started on breakfast while I finished putting lunches & bottles & bibs & clothes into bags for the day
6:30am: Brandon leaves for work, I wake up Declan. Feed and dress him.
6:50am: begin the tooth-brushing battle with Carson, which always ended with at least one of us in tears (but damnit, her teeth were brushed every day). Do C's hair. Another epic battle.
7:00am: load the car and head out (realistically, this was always more like 7:15)
7:50am: arrive at day care, drop kids off in their classrooms, head to my work
8:15am: arrive at work.
8:15-4:15: work, pump (I only got walked in on 3 times--and only once by a student), attend meetings, etc.
4:20pm: finish bus duty and dash out of school to pick up the kids (if I missed this departure time by even 3 minutes, it would easily add 20 minutes to my total trip time)
4:40: arrive at day care, attempt to quickly get as much information as possible about my children's days, interact with their teachers, classmates & other parents picking up, load car, begin driving home
5:30-5:45pm: arrive home, unload car, begin making dinner, feed Declan
6:30pm: eat dinner
7:00pm: begin bath time and bedtime routine
8:00pm: hopefully both kids are in bed. Brandon does laundry while I do dishes or vice versa. Then he works (my work return coincided perfectly with his busy season starting up) while I prep bottles and lunches for the next day. 10:00: I collapse into bed, hoping for only one or two nighttime feedings with Declan, feeling like I barely saw my kids--except in the rearview mirror--or my husband--except for a quick kiss goodnight.
I do not post this to complain. Many people keep far more difficult schedules than this and do it without the partnership that Brandon and I have. I am not complaining, because we chose for me to go back to work. We chose to have two children, God-willing. To complain about something you consciously choose for yourself makes little sense. The reason I post this is so I can remind myself why we made the next big decision for our family.
I have quit teaching for now.
And that's why I'm posting this. Because I know there will be days as a stay at home mom I'll feel like the day was hard. I'll be frustrated or overwhelmed or just plain tired of my house. I want to be able to look back at that schedule and remember one of the many reasons we made this choice....
And that's what the next post will be about!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Maternity Leave
In honor of Throwback Thursday, I thought I'd do a post about something that happened a long time ago...
Maternity leave was amazing for so many reasons. The two main ones were:
1. no work
2. new baby
...not necessarily in that order. Here are a few highlights of the time from when Declan was born to the beginning of March:
brother-sister time--I've said this before, but Carson was an amazing big sister even before Declan was born. We were curious if her feelings about big sisterhood would change once the baby was here in the flesh, but she was truly awesome. As in, we were in awe of her. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the adjustment period to happen...but she was so loving and careful and proud to be a big sis (side note--the adjusting happened when I returned to work).
One of the greatest joys in these past 10 months has been watching the 2 of them with each other. He is enamored with her, and she acts as if her sole purpose in life is caring for him. We couldn't have dreamed for it to go better than it did.
Declan time--We are very happy with the decision we made to keep Carson in preschool a few days a week while I was on maternity leave. Would it have saved some money to keep her home full time? Yes. But we would have paid that price tenfold in tears and heartbreak when she went from home full-time to school full-time after maternity leave was over. It was definitely good for her to get some time with the big kids at school too. The focus could be on her, and she didn't have to think about Declan all the time. She could do big kid stuff with other big kids, which we feel was really healthy for Carson.
The other bonus to this decision was that we got some time to focus on Declan. We knew him being the second baby was a trade-off--he wouldn't get nearly as much one-on-one attention as C did, but he would have all of the advantages that come from having an older sibling, like watching her try the hard stuff first and the social advantages of always having to share & always having another kid around. Carson being in school a few days a week gave Declan some good chunks of one-on-one time, which we were happy to give him. It was joyful to watch him learn new things and develop (or, often, just to watch him sleep).
Carson time--Being home on maternity leave allowed me to get some extra Carson time as well. She and I would make pancakes at least once a week, with her perched on the counter in her apron and PJ's, while I helped measure and mix. I was also able to attend a few of her class parties and ballet classes, which I had always wanted to do but couldn't, due to the middle-of-the-day nature of such events. Carson also started taking gymnastics--something we hoped she'd enjoy and that would again give us some time to focus on her. So far, she is loving it and was even invited to attend a 'big kid' class, where the class is twice as long and some of the kids are twice her age. She is doing great and keeping up nicely.
Christmas--While this past Christmas was a bit tough, due to some sort of virus that knocked Brandon & Carson flatly on their asses, it was still pretty magical having our family of 4 sitting under the tree that morning. Christmas prep, Christmas Eve Mass (my favorite service of the year), and family bonding took a back seat to trying to protect the newborn from whatever devilish germs were running amok in Brandon & Carson, while also trying to help them recover. I would bet that Carson barely remembers Christmas at all (and we did a terrible job taking pictures that would help her remember). We were blessed that everyone soon recovered--and especially fortunate that Declan and I stayed healthy.
Outings--One of the best parts of the sometimes-stay-at-home-mom gig I do as a teacher is the opportunity to take the kids out to experience new and fun things. We went to the zoo, to parks & playgrounds, Monkey Joe's, the Children's Museum, and more. I had a blast taking the kids out on the town and, as always, loved watching them experience new and fun adventures.
Road trips--We were even able to get out of town a couple times while Declan was all brand-new. Once, we went to visit Brandon's grandparents and aunt in South Carolina, which was fun and relaxing as always.
And then we got to visit our good friends Kristin & Marc and their kids in Raleigh, NC for a few days. It snowed (although not enough to stick) and we got to visit their local children's museum, play with all their toys, and hang out with other parents who had also recently entered the world of having two kids.
Sleep--While we weren't able to do the whole 'nap when the baby naps' thing this go-round, we definitely got more sleep while I was on leave than when I wasn't. Declan has never quite grasped the value of a nice long nap (largely due to acid reflux but also due to his determination not to miss any of the fun), so his 20-minute naps usually gave us just enough time to sit down and realize how tired we were before it was time to pick him up again. But really, there are far worse things than hangin' with your newborn, even if you're tired doing it.
Anyway, that was sort of a whirlwind summary of those 4 quick months. We feel like we settled quickly and fairly smoothly into being a family of four, and of course now we can't remember much of life before we were.
I think this is a link to our pictures.
Most of all, we are grateful that our kids are healthy, and we are excited to continue watching them grow together.
Maternity leave was amazing for so many reasons. The two main ones were:
1. no work
2. new baby
...not necessarily in that order. Here are a few highlights of the time from when Declan was born to the beginning of March:
brother-sister time--I've said this before, but Carson was an amazing big sister even before Declan was born. We were curious if her feelings about big sisterhood would change once the baby was here in the flesh, but she was truly awesome. As in, we were in awe of her. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the adjustment period to happen...but she was so loving and careful and proud to be a big sis (side note--the adjusting happened when I returned to work).
One of the greatest joys in these past 10 months has been watching the 2 of them with each other. He is enamored with her, and she acts as if her sole purpose in life is caring for him. We couldn't have dreamed for it to go better than it did.
Declan time--We are very happy with the decision we made to keep Carson in preschool a few days a week while I was on maternity leave. Would it have saved some money to keep her home full time? Yes. But we would have paid that price tenfold in tears and heartbreak when she went from home full-time to school full-time after maternity leave was over. It was definitely good for her to get some time with the big kids at school too. The focus could be on her, and she didn't have to think about Declan all the time. She could do big kid stuff with other big kids, which we feel was really healthy for Carson.
The other bonus to this decision was that we got some time to focus on Declan. We knew him being the second baby was a trade-off--he wouldn't get nearly as much one-on-one attention as C did, but he would have all of the advantages that come from having an older sibling, like watching her try the hard stuff first and the social advantages of always having to share & always having another kid around. Carson being in school a few days a week gave Declan some good chunks of one-on-one time, which we were happy to give him. It was joyful to watch him learn new things and develop (or, often, just to watch him sleep).
Carson time--Being home on maternity leave allowed me to get some extra Carson time as well. She and I would make pancakes at least once a week, with her perched on the counter in her apron and PJ's, while I helped measure and mix. I was also able to attend a few of her class parties and ballet classes, which I had always wanted to do but couldn't, due to the middle-of-the-day nature of such events. Carson also started taking gymnastics--something we hoped she'd enjoy and that would again give us some time to focus on her. So far, she is loving it and was even invited to attend a 'big kid' class, where the class is twice as long and some of the kids are twice her age. She is doing great and keeping up nicely.
Christmas--While this past Christmas was a bit tough, due to some sort of virus that knocked Brandon & Carson flatly on their asses, it was still pretty magical having our family of 4 sitting under the tree that morning. Christmas prep, Christmas Eve Mass (my favorite service of the year), and family bonding took a back seat to trying to protect the newborn from whatever devilish germs were running amok in Brandon & Carson, while also trying to help them recover. I would bet that Carson barely remembers Christmas at all (and we did a terrible job taking pictures that would help her remember). We were blessed that everyone soon recovered--and especially fortunate that Declan and I stayed healthy.
Outings--One of the best parts of the sometimes-stay-at-home-mom gig I do as a teacher is the opportunity to take the kids out to experience new and fun things. We went to the zoo, to parks & playgrounds, Monkey Joe's, the Children's Museum, and more. I had a blast taking the kids out on the town and, as always, loved watching them experience new and fun adventures.
Road trips--We were even able to get out of town a couple times while Declan was all brand-new. Once, we went to visit Brandon's grandparents and aunt in South Carolina, which was fun and relaxing as always.
And then we got to visit our good friends Kristin & Marc and their kids in Raleigh, NC for a few days. It snowed (although not enough to stick) and we got to visit their local children's museum, play with all their toys, and hang out with other parents who had also recently entered the world of having two kids.
Sleep--While we weren't able to do the whole 'nap when the baby naps' thing this go-round, we definitely got more sleep while I was on leave than when I wasn't. Declan has never quite grasped the value of a nice long nap (largely due to acid reflux but also due to his determination not to miss any of the fun), so his 20-minute naps usually gave us just enough time to sit down and realize how tired we were before it was time to pick him up again. But really, there are far worse things than hangin' with your newborn, even if you're tired doing it.
Anyway, that was sort of a whirlwind summary of those 4 quick months. We feel like we settled quickly and fairly smoothly into being a family of four, and of course now we can't remember much of life before we were.
I think this is a link to our pictures.
Most of all, we are grateful that our kids are healthy, and we are excited to continue watching them grow together.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Dress Code
So, about 10 years ahead of schedule, I had my first incident of Carson trying to sneak out of the house wearing an outfit SHE wanted under an outfit she knew I'd find acceptable. I really thought this was a middle school thing, but I'm thinking that a lot about Carson's choices lately, and I'm no longer sure that early childhood and adolescence are all that different as far as stages go.
Carson was playing dress-up yesterday morning, which is fantastic. She hasn't always loved the dress-up scene, and she only occasionally chooses girly dress-up outfits. Yesterday, she chose this:
Which was great, until we were ready to go run errands. I told her she couldn't wear her getup to the store, even though it was fabulous and glamorous and amazing.
She fought it a little, but eventually sighed her way to her room, presumably to change.
She returned looking like regular Carson...and then she walked past me, and I noticed a little sparkly, purple fluff hanging out from beneath her striped dress. At first, I thought the tutu had gotten caught up in her pants as she was changing. Upon further inspection, I realized she had repositioned it under her clothes so that SHE knew it was there but I wouldn't.
For a brief, fleeting moment, I was frustrated that she had tried to pull one over on me, after I had instructed her to remove the crazy (albeit hilarious) outfit.
And then my heart ached, because I felt like I had stifled her creativity and sense of identity and made a 3-year-old feel like she had to hide her wardrobe from me.
I quickly skimmed through the lessons I could use this teachable moment for:
1. when Mommy tells you to do something, you do it. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
2. Mommy sees everything. Even when you try to hide something from her, she will always find out. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
3. Never be afraid to be yourself--or to really speak up if something is important to you. If you're going to wear a purple tutu, you better rock it. Now put that tutu on the outside of your clothes where everyone can see it and get ready to go. And also, next time use your words instead of sneaking.
I chose #3, and we both felt pretty good about it. And next time we have a wardrobe "discussion", I will be more open-minded.
You know, I have a friend from work whose multi-racial teenage son once commented, "Man, white people let their kids wear ANYTHING! You never see young Hispanic or black kids wearing crazy outfits in public."
And maybe that teenager was right. Maybe it is a cultural thing. I often think of his comment when I allow Carson to wear a tutu or shorts with rain boots and a winter hat. And I chuckle and hope that maybe some teenager in the aisles of Target will see my kiddo and make a similar comment to his parent and they'll both get a good laugh about it.
I mean, if we can't laugh and wear a purple tutu, then what can we do?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Carson was playing dress-up yesterday morning, which is fantastic. She hasn't always loved the dress-up scene, and she only occasionally chooses girly dress-up outfits. Yesterday, she chose this:
Which was great, until we were ready to go run errands. I told her she couldn't wear her getup to the store, even though it was fabulous and glamorous and amazing.
She fought it a little, but eventually sighed her way to her room, presumably to change.
She returned looking like regular Carson...and then she walked past me, and I noticed a little sparkly, purple fluff hanging out from beneath her striped dress. At first, I thought the tutu had gotten caught up in her pants as she was changing. Upon further inspection, I realized she had repositioned it under her clothes so that SHE knew it was there but I wouldn't.
For a brief, fleeting moment, I was frustrated that she had tried to pull one over on me, after I had instructed her to remove the crazy (albeit hilarious) outfit.
And then my heart ached, because I felt like I had stifled her creativity and sense of identity and made a 3-year-old feel like she had to hide her wardrobe from me.
I quickly skimmed through the lessons I could use this teachable moment for:
1. when Mommy tells you to do something, you do it. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
2. Mommy sees everything. Even when you try to hide something from her, she will always find out. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
3. Never be afraid to be yourself--or to really speak up if something is important to you. If you're going to wear a purple tutu, you better rock it. Now put that tutu on the outside of your clothes where everyone can see it and get ready to go. And also, next time use your words instead of sneaking.
I chose #3, and we both felt pretty good about it. And next time we have a wardrobe "discussion", I will be more open-minded.
You know, I have a friend from work whose multi-racial teenage son once commented, "Man, white people let their kids wear ANYTHING! You never see young Hispanic or black kids wearing crazy outfits in public."
And maybe that teenager was right. Maybe it is a cultural thing. I often think of his comment when I allow Carson to wear a tutu or shorts with rain boots and a winter hat. And I chuckle and hope that maybe some teenager in the aisles of Target will see my kiddo and make a similar comment to his parent and they'll both get a good laugh about it.
I mean, if we can't laugh and wear a purple tutu, then what can we do?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, August 19, 2013
Things I Never Want to Forget About My Kids
1. the feeling of Carson's three-year-old fingers playing with my hair while I lay with her after bedtime prayers
2. Declan's 'flirty eyes' -- they're sure to cause him/me trouble someday, but they melt my heart
3. the way Carson turns EVERYTHING into a song--and always has a song playing in her head
4. Declan's belly laugh, which he gives freely and often. I especially want to remember the 'anticipatory belly laugh' that bubbles out when he is waiting to be tickled but has not actually been touched yet.
And a few things I wouldn't mind being sacrificed to the black hole of my diminishing memory......
1. the sounds of 'sleep training' or whatever you want to call it when your kid learns to put themselves to sleep
2. tantrums of any kind, including my own
3. that soggy feeling that comes from being slightly damp with spit up, drool, snot, and various mushed-up foods all day
On second thought, I will miss all of these things too one day--when Declan can do more than just cry when he's mad (for example, curse at/about me) , when Carson can get in her car and drive away instead of plopping on the floor in a puddle, and when my kids no longer need me to wipe their noses and mush up their food--I will miss these feelings and these moments too.
Okay, it can all stay.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Some People
So. Today, this motley crew and I ventured to the vet's office. The visit was an adventure, to say the least. The part I wish to write about is the end. The very end. Like the brief walk from the doorway to our car.
It was here that a total stranger felt the desire/urge/need to answer a question I had not asked.
To set the scene, the 8-month-old, the 3-year-old, the anxious dog, and I had been locked in a small room at the vet's office for an hour. Upon our release, we sort of exploded out of the doors. I was half-dragging, half-being dragged across the parking lot.
This must have been the point that the 'good Samaritan' woman locked her sights on me. I believe this, because she crossed several parking spaces to approach me and meet me at my car. The fact that she had observed my group for more than 3 seconds means she had time to observe AT LEAST one of the following:
1. my frazzled hair due to lack of a 4th hand with which to sweep it out of my face
2. the fact that I was pushing a stroller with a baby in it
3. my wayward 3-year-old, holding onto the stroller but still dancing between it and the flow of traffic
4. the partial amputation being performed by the dog's leash on my right hand, due to his mistaken belief that we were racing to the vehicle
5. the gash down my arm(pit), due to my dog leaping INTO my shirt out of fear while waiting for the vet
Any of these observations would have deterred an average/normal/polite stranger from approaching a stranger in a parking lot.
But not this gem. She had a message to deliver. She had a PSA that I needed to hear.
And when she reached my hobbling, racing, drooling, dancing brood...these are the words that escaped her lips:
"You know, you should really be careful on the pavement. Dogs can burn their paws this time of year."
What.
The.
Eff.
I smiled & nodded...I think I actually thanked her.
And then, once I had tossed my gang into the car and began to regain the mental capacity to consider her words, I went through several stages. Disbelief. Rage. Acceptance.
But mostly rage.
I mean, what the crap did she want me to do? Drag the baby and put the DOG in the stroller? Buy shoes for my dog?? (by the way, he would never wear shoes) Carry the dog in my 5th hand?? Those are the only options I can think of. And they're all freaking stupid.
Seriously, some people.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Happy 3rd Birthday, Nugget!
It is nearly impossible to believe that Carson is turning 3. She has been such a constant blessing to us and has taught Brandon and I so much about ourselves, each other, and how to be a family.
Here are some things we know for sure about our compassionate little bug:
1. She loves to ride with the windows down.
2. She is an excellent care-taker: whether her baby dolls, Moe, a sad character in a book, or one of us feeling sick, she worries, helps, and checks back until she is sure everything is okay.
3. She could be a great teacher one day. Carson goes beyond the general preschooler's desire to boss people around and picks up on her teachers' techniques and teaching styles. Brandon and I receive stickers regularly (or sometimes not) for being good listeners. When we are having a conversation without her, we get warned before receiving a consequence (usually in the form of time out or withheld rewards).
4. Singing is her fave. She makes everyday things into new songs, often accompanied by her "beautiful moves."
5. She has a scary-good memory. We can read a new book at bedtime for a week, and then she is ready to "read" it on her own. She will recite the book word for word from start to finish.
6. She loves to cook. One of my favorite things this year has been our Saturday morning tradition of making pancakes. It makes it so much easier to get up early on the weekend when I have some special Carson time to look forward to.
7. She is a daddy's girl. She and Brandon have such a special bond. Her days revolve around when he will be home from work or wake up in the morning or be able to play with her. She lights up when she sees him, and they can play nonsense games for hours without getting tired.
8. She is good at making connections between seemingly unrelated ideas. This one is hard to explain, but we are amazed at how quickly and easily she is able to transfer ideas from one situation and apply them to another. This can be as simple as realizing that when she's crawling under the kitchen stool, she looks like a turtle--or as complex as understanding what friendship looks like--and asking Brandon and I if we are friends when she sees us laughing together.
9. She is an excellent big sister. She is tender and careful with Declan and thinks about him all day long. She always needs to know where he is, and she takes pretend pictures of him relentlessly, always calling them, "PWESHUSS," after she takes them.
10. The girl loves Christmas. She talked about it all year this year, and because of her excellent memory she could recall all the things she loved about Christmas last year. The tree & ornaments, our advent calendar, and the music were her top picks. We began listening to Christmas music on the way to & from school each day back while it was still technically summer. And if you don't think singing "Jingle Bells" with a 2-year-old at the top of your lungs is a great way to begin your day, you clearly haven't tried it :)
Because of her love of the Christmas season, we decided to make her birthday Christmas-themed this year. It made her very happy, and as a bonus, it made sure we got our decorations up before the baby came.
Lots of friends and family came to celebrate (although, due to a last-minute pink eye diagnosis, not everyone braved the germ-fest, understandably so).
Her gift from Brandon and I was a reading nook for the corner of her room where the rocker used to be (I was just the idea person here--Brandon built it). We figured having something cool to replace the rocking chair we used every night (so it could go in Declan's room) would make the transition easier. She hasn't had an issue with it at all! Thank you Grandma, for creating the curtains and matching pillows for her nook--and thank you Jana, for making the super-cute book slings!
Also, in our effort to take her somewhere new each year, we packed some hot chocolate and blankets, put the kids in their PJ's, and drove up to look at the lights at Lake Lanier. I have never heard one child say, "Wow!" so many times.
I thought it would be fun to ask Carson some questions this year and be able to look back on her answers in the future--and maybe even revisit these questions each birthday.
1. How old are you? Three
2. What is your favorite thing to play? Babies (this means putting her baby dolls to bed, feeding them, rocking them, etc.)
3. What is your favorite book? Bear Wants More by Karma Wilson (yes, she memorizes the authors of her books along with the words)
4. Who are some of your friends? Mommy, Daddy, Addison, Lila, Patch, Maddy
5. What do you like about Daddy? playing Legos with him, reading Pete the Cat with him, when he tickles me
6. What do you like about Mommy? her soft hair, reading books with her, making reindeers and stuff with her
7. What do you like about your brother? his face, his cheeks, his smile
8. What makes you angry? when I don't want to brush my hair and my teeth
9. What is your favorite thing about school? playing Legos, Playball
10. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? to Patch and Maddy's house
Happy birthday, little lady! Thank you for teaching us and loving so fully each day. Being your mommy and daddy is the most fun we've ever had!
Here are some of our favorite Carson pics from this year:
https://plus.google.com/photos/116719683582872528226/albums/5820732497305551233?authkey=CJ-OtfXmjpGKYQ
Here are some things we know for sure about our compassionate little bug:
1. She loves to ride with the windows down.
2. She is an excellent care-taker: whether her baby dolls, Moe, a sad character in a book, or one of us feeling sick, she worries, helps, and checks back until she is sure everything is okay.
3. She could be a great teacher one day. Carson goes beyond the general preschooler's desire to boss people around and picks up on her teachers' techniques and teaching styles. Brandon and I receive stickers regularly (or sometimes not) for being good listeners. When we are having a conversation without her, we get warned before receiving a consequence (usually in the form of time out or withheld rewards).
4. Singing is her fave. She makes everyday things into new songs, often accompanied by her "beautiful moves."
5. She has a scary-good memory. We can read a new book at bedtime for a week, and then she is ready to "read" it on her own. She will recite the book word for word from start to finish.
6. She loves to cook. One of my favorite things this year has been our Saturday morning tradition of making pancakes. It makes it so much easier to get up early on the weekend when I have some special Carson time to look forward to.
7. She is a daddy's girl. She and Brandon have such a special bond. Her days revolve around when he will be home from work or wake up in the morning or be able to play with her. She lights up when she sees him, and they can play nonsense games for hours without getting tired.
8. She is good at making connections between seemingly unrelated ideas. This one is hard to explain, but we are amazed at how quickly and easily she is able to transfer ideas from one situation and apply them to another. This can be as simple as realizing that when she's crawling under the kitchen stool, she looks like a turtle--or as complex as understanding what friendship looks like--and asking Brandon and I if we are friends when she sees us laughing together.
9. She is an excellent big sister. She is tender and careful with Declan and thinks about him all day long. She always needs to know where he is, and she takes pretend pictures of him relentlessly, always calling them, "PWESHUSS," after she takes them.
10. The girl loves Christmas. She talked about it all year this year, and because of her excellent memory she could recall all the things she loved about Christmas last year. The tree & ornaments, our advent calendar, and the music were her top picks. We began listening to Christmas music on the way to & from school each day back while it was still technically summer. And if you don't think singing "Jingle Bells" with a 2-year-old at the top of your lungs is a great way to begin your day, you clearly haven't tried it :)
Because of her love of the Christmas season, we decided to make her birthday Christmas-themed this year. It made her very happy, and as a bonus, it made sure we got our decorations up before the baby came.
Lots of friends and family came to celebrate (although, due to a last-minute pink eye diagnosis, not everyone braved the germ-fest, understandably so).
We made ornaments, decorated ice cream cone trees, ate a "Christmas dinner" of turkey (which Brandon smoked on the grill--yum!), stuffing, green beans, etc, and as a special surprise to Carson, we had a bounce house in the back yard that she didn't know about until part-way through the party.
I thought it would be fun to ask Carson some questions this year and be able to look back on her answers in the future--and maybe even revisit these questions each birthday.
1. How old are you? Three
2. What is your favorite thing to play? Babies (this means putting her baby dolls to bed, feeding them, rocking them, etc.)
3. What is your favorite book? Bear Wants More by Karma Wilson (yes, she memorizes the authors of her books along with the words)
4. Who are some of your friends? Mommy, Daddy, Addison, Lila, Patch, Maddy
5. What do you like about Daddy? playing Legos with him, reading Pete the Cat with him, when he tickles me
6. What do you like about Mommy? her soft hair, reading books with her, making reindeers and stuff with her
7. What do you like about your brother? his face, his cheeks, his smile
8. What makes you angry? when I don't want to brush my hair and my teeth
9. What is your favorite thing about school? playing Legos, Playball
10. If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go? to Patch and Maddy's house
Happy birthday, little lady! Thank you for teaching us and loving so fully each day. Being your mommy and daddy is the most fun we've ever had!
https://plus.google.com/photos/116719683582872528226/albums/5820732497305551233?authkey=CJ-OtfXmjpGKYQ
Saturday, December 1, 2012
It's a Boy!
***Happy birthday Carson! Your birthday post will be up next week--we have some more celebrating to do today!***
A few of the things we are thankful for this Thanksgiving:
1. Our beautiful baby boy Declan (DECK-luhn) Thomas Bean arrived in time to celebrate Thanksgiving with us! He is healthy, handsome, and already an amazing part of our family.
Here is the long version of how Declan's birth-day happened:
The week leading up to Declan being born, I had a BIG week at work. My c-section was scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving, November 26, so I knew I wouldn't be returning before the baby was born. I had an open house late one night, some other late nights getting things ready for my long-term substitute, lots of meetings, lots of worry about how much the kids had or hadn't learned before my departure.....and I got a cold/cough/laryngitis just to keep things interesting.
Back when we were 31 weeks pregnant, the doctor sent us to the hospital, thinking I was in labor (they stopped the contractions & everything was fine). However, ever since then, a long day would jump-start the contractions again.
So, we were not surprised when I woke up Saturday morning having lots of contractions. I took it easy that morning, took a nap that afternoon, and Brandon went about his to-do list of getting the house ready for a baby. It would be an understatement to say that we left a lot to the last minute with baby #2. On this particular morning, November 17, Brandon was working on the closets at our house. This means that every item in our closet and the closet of the soon-to-be-nursery was strewn around the house in some form or fashion while Brandon installed new shelving and organizing systems.
When I woke up from my nap, the contractions were still coming steadily, so I began to time and count them. You are supposed to call the doctor if you have more than 8 in an hour. I had 15 the first hour I counted, so we reluctantly decided to call. The contractions weren't any stronger or longer than any I'd had before, although they were coming EXACTLY 4 minutes apart, which was strange.
The doctor asked me if I thought I was in labor, and I said no. It just felt like a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions. Of course, the doctor told us to go in to the hospital for monitoring anyway. So we called our families, packed an overnight bag in case they wanted to monitor me more than a couple hours, and headed out. We asked Brandon's mom to pack an overnight bag and come stay with Carson, and my family was "on call", waiting for further developments.
On the way to the hospital, I told Brandon I felt a little silly going in, because I knew they would just give me fluids, see that the contractions were nothing major, and send me home. I didn't want them to think I was some sort of hypochondriac, always thinking she was in labor. Plus, there was the closet-bomb at our house that would now have to wait until Sunday to be remedied.
Once there, I got all hooked up to monitors and fluids and blood pressure machines. The doctor checked me and I was not dilated at all ("Duh," I thought to myself). He said he'd check again in an hour, and if there was any change, we'd have to do the c-section. I nodded seriously, but in my head I was thinking, "Geez, I'm hungry! I hope we can get out of here fast and go grab some dinner." Brandon and I began discussing where we would eat when we were released.
Suddenly, I had 4 back-to-back contractions that peaked off the chart on the monitor and actually kind of hurt. Nurses nonchalantly came in and asked me to change my position to see if that helped reduce the contractions. I wish I had a picture of Brandon's face at that point though--it was like it hit him for the first time that we might not actually go home that night. That we might actually have a BABY that night.
After that, the contractions remained more frequent and intense. The doctor came in to check me, and I held my breath, waiting for the moment of truth. He stood back and calmly said, "I'd say you're one and a half cm and 50% effaced."
Holy crap.
From there, things began to move a bit faster. More machines, fluids, and a call to the anesthesiologist. Brandon quickly updated family and friends that the c-section would be within the hour. Everything began to blur together. With Carson, we had lots of down time while we waited for the c-section. We got pushed for an emergency surgery and there was no rush for me because I wasn't in labor. Apparently, they handle it differently (read: faster) when you are.
Once the epidural was in, my pulse shot up (to 156), and my blood pressure plummeted (to 77/55). And then the nurses and doctors began doing things VERY quickly but still reassuring us that everything was "ok". We couldn't help but notice a bit of a frazzled tone in their hurried voices as they sped around our little room, hooking things up, communicating in code, and waiting anxiously for the epidural to take full effect. It was one of those situations where the words didn't match the actions, and we just had to take a deep breath and know none of it was in our control. All of this left very little time for any mental preparation for Brandon and I. We just went with the flow and trusted it would all be okay.
A little after 9:00pm, my parents, Anna, and Jon arrived. They were instructed to give quick hugs, as the nurses were ready to get me into surgery. As soon as my family left, they began wheeling my bed to the operating room. They transferred me to the operating table and hooked up more monitors and tubes, while Brandon finished getting his sterile gear on. The doctor asked if I wanted him to tell us the sex of the baby or if I wanted Brandon to tell me. I decided Brandon, and once he was back by my side, they began the process of delivering our baby!
Brandon sat next to my head and talked to me the whole time. When I got nauseous or light-headed, I'd tell him and he'd let the anesthesiologist know. If I had questions, he would ask the doctor. He continuously reassured me that everything was going well, that he could hear what the doctors were saying, and it was all positive and nothing of concern. I have to admit, every once in awhile, I'd catch a piece of conversation on the other side of the curtain that involved, "...a LOT of blood..." or, "....scarring...." and I'd get a little freaked. But Brandon always calmly put my fears to rest and helped to keep me in the moment. Another one of the countless reasons I love him.
Eventually, the doctor let Brandon know our baby was out and he could peek over the curtain to see if it was a boy or a girl and take some pictures. Brandon stood up, started clicking away, and I lay on my back, waiting to hear if we had a boy or a girl....and waiting....I heard the doctor say, "Can you see what it is, Brandon?" And he excitedly replied, "Yes!" And then he kept taking pictures. The doctor and nurses shouted, "Well, TELL her!!"
Poor Brandon got so caught up in the moment, he forgot I didn't know yet. He knelt next to me and whispered, "It's a boy! We have a SON!" Tears filled both our eyes as he showed me the first precious pictures of our newborn child. I whispered back, "He's perfect."
Once the cord was cut and they began working on cleaning the baby up, we could hear him screaming loudly from across the room--a welcome and reassuring sound. Brandon stayed with the baby while they finished my surgery, and we were all reunited again in the recovery room.
Also while I was finishing up, Brandon called Carson to tell her the news. Gram woke her up, and Brandon told her she had a little brother. With tears in her eyes, she turned to Brandon's mom and told her she had a baby brother. Carson's emotion and love were present from the moment she knew he existed.
One thing that was very different and pleasant about this birth was that, because it wasn't scheduled, it was happening at a very quiet time at the hospital. No one schedules a c-section for 9:00 pm on a Saturday. So we were literally the only ones in the recovery room. It was calm, peaceful, and we were able to really take some time to reflect and enjoy and wonder together before being rushed out to make space for the next mother and baby. I am grateful I have clear, strong memories of holding him for the first time, watching his first bath, and talking with Brandon about all of it.
Brandon asked one of the nurses to go let my family know everything was going well--but NOT to tell them if it was a boy or a girl. Despite attempts at bribery and threats, my family had to wait for Brandon to come deliver the news. When he did, my mom and sister screamed so loudly it scared my brother Jon to death.
In addition to all the other ways we were unprepared for this baby, we also had not officially and completely decided on a name, should it happen to be a boy. People kept asking us what his name was, and each time we would hesitantly say Declan. Brandon was in love with the name, but I was a bit less sure. At this point, I am positive it is a fantastic name for our little one--Irish in origin, like parts of both Brandon's and my families, unique, as we hope our son will be, and with a funny story in which I was sure Brandon had flat-out made up the name the first time he said it to me.
We knew a boy baby's middle name was going to be Thomas no matter what. This name too has significance for both of our families. It was a last name and then a middle name with my Scottish ancestors, it is my brother's name, and it is his mother's maiden name. Declan Thomas Bean is our son.
Once Declan was bathed and fully checked out (and they got the pain pump for my epidural running), we were allowed to go to our hospital room, where my mom, dad, sister, and brother were also able to meet Declan.
After some visiting time and getting settled in, they left to go home, and Brandon, Declan and I were left alone.
We stayed up until about 3am, talking, reliving, reflecting on the day. We laughed about how we'd planned a day of closet-organizing and football-watching (and a week of preparation for the baby coming), only to have God steer our lives in a slightly different direction.
There is so much more to say about the next few days--and all of the days between then and now--but I'll wrap it up for this post.
We are so thankful for our sweet boy, who is seriously perfection as far as we can tell. He sleeps during the night, rarely fusses, makes a million funny faces in his dreams....we can't wait to keep getting to know you, Declan!
Here is a link to the rest of the pictures from the hospital:
https://plus.google.com/photos/116719683582872528226/albums/5816420889228787169?authkey=CM71kLSol72OEw
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
A few of the things we are thankful for this Thanksgiving:
1. Our beautiful baby boy Declan (DECK-luhn) Thomas Bean arrived in time to celebrate Thanksgiving with us! He is healthy, handsome, and already an amazing part of our family.
2. Our families, who were able to drop everything in the middle of their Saturdays to help us get to the hospital and welcome baby Declan.
3. Our sweet girl Carson, who has stepped into her big sister role with grace and thoughtfulness and compassion, as she does most things in her life. She loves "her baby" to pieces; he is the first thing she asks about when she wakes up and the last person she wants to see before she goes to sleep. We are so very very blessed to have such an amazing sweetie on our hands.
4. Our families again, who brought the Thanksgiving celebrations to us when we got home from the hospital. While it was a bit crazy having company the first few days we were home from the hospital, we wouldn't have had it any other way. They fed us, loved us, and spent time with us and our kids, which is all we could want.
5. I am thankful I was able to eat Thanksgiving dinner without heartburn! Yay for small victories, too!
6. Our friends who visited us in the hospital, checked on us after we got home, and have made sure we know they are thinking of us. We are so unbelievably blessed in every way, and we appreciate all of you so much.
The week leading up to Declan being born, I had a BIG week at work. My c-section was scheduled for the Monday after Thanksgiving, November 26, so I knew I wouldn't be returning before the baby was born. I had an open house late one night, some other late nights getting things ready for my long-term substitute, lots of meetings, lots of worry about how much the kids had or hadn't learned before my departure.....and I got a cold/cough/laryngitis just to keep things interesting.
Back when we were 31 weeks pregnant, the doctor sent us to the hospital, thinking I was in labor (they stopped the contractions & everything was fine). However, ever since then, a long day would jump-start the contractions again.
So, we were not surprised when I woke up Saturday morning having lots of contractions. I took it easy that morning, took a nap that afternoon, and Brandon went about his to-do list of getting the house ready for a baby. It would be an understatement to say that we left a lot to the last minute with baby #2. On this particular morning, November 17, Brandon was working on the closets at our house. This means that every item in our closet and the closet of the soon-to-be-nursery was strewn around the house in some form or fashion while Brandon installed new shelving and organizing systems.
When I woke up from my nap, the contractions were still coming steadily, so I began to time and count them. You are supposed to call the doctor if you have more than 8 in an hour. I had 15 the first hour I counted, so we reluctantly decided to call. The contractions weren't any stronger or longer than any I'd had before, although they were coming EXACTLY 4 minutes apart, which was strange.
The doctor asked me if I thought I was in labor, and I said no. It just felt like a lot of Braxton-Hicks contractions. Of course, the doctor told us to go in to the hospital for monitoring anyway. So we called our families, packed an overnight bag in case they wanted to monitor me more than a couple hours, and headed out. We asked Brandon's mom to pack an overnight bag and come stay with Carson, and my family was "on call", waiting for further developments.
On the way to the hospital, I told Brandon I felt a little silly going in, because I knew they would just give me fluids, see that the contractions were nothing major, and send me home. I didn't want them to think I was some sort of hypochondriac, always thinking she was in labor. Plus, there was the closet-bomb at our house that would now have to wait until Sunday to be remedied.
Once there, I got all hooked up to monitors and fluids and blood pressure machines. The doctor checked me and I was not dilated at all ("Duh," I thought to myself). He said he'd check again in an hour, and if there was any change, we'd have to do the c-section. I nodded seriously, but in my head I was thinking, "Geez, I'm hungry! I hope we can get out of here fast and go grab some dinner." Brandon and I began discussing where we would eat when we were released.
Suddenly, I had 4 back-to-back contractions that peaked off the chart on the monitor and actually kind of hurt. Nurses nonchalantly came in and asked me to change my position to see if that helped reduce the contractions. I wish I had a picture of Brandon's face at that point though--it was like it hit him for the first time that we might not actually go home that night. That we might actually have a BABY that night.
After that, the contractions remained more frequent and intense. The doctor came in to check me, and I held my breath, waiting for the moment of truth. He stood back and calmly said, "I'd say you're one and a half cm and 50% effaced."
Holy crap.
From there, things began to move a bit faster. More machines, fluids, and a call to the anesthesiologist. Brandon quickly updated family and friends that the c-section would be within the hour. Everything began to blur together. With Carson, we had lots of down time while we waited for the c-section. We got pushed for an emergency surgery and there was no rush for me because I wasn't in labor. Apparently, they handle it differently (read: faster) when you are.
Once the epidural was in, my pulse shot up (to 156), and my blood pressure plummeted (to 77/55). And then the nurses and doctors began doing things VERY quickly but still reassuring us that everything was "ok". We couldn't help but notice a bit of a frazzled tone in their hurried voices as they sped around our little room, hooking things up, communicating in code, and waiting anxiously for the epidural to take full effect. It was one of those situations where the words didn't match the actions, and we just had to take a deep breath and know none of it was in our control. All of this left very little time for any mental preparation for Brandon and I. We just went with the flow and trusted it would all be okay.
A little after 9:00pm, my parents, Anna, and Jon arrived. They were instructed to give quick hugs, as the nurses were ready to get me into surgery. As soon as my family left, they began wheeling my bed to the operating room. They transferred me to the operating table and hooked up more monitors and tubes, while Brandon finished getting his sterile gear on. The doctor asked if I wanted him to tell us the sex of the baby or if I wanted Brandon to tell me. I decided Brandon, and once he was back by my side, they began the process of delivering our baby!
Brandon sat next to my head and talked to me the whole time. When I got nauseous or light-headed, I'd tell him and he'd let the anesthesiologist know. If I had questions, he would ask the doctor. He continuously reassured me that everything was going well, that he could hear what the doctors were saying, and it was all positive and nothing of concern. I have to admit, every once in awhile, I'd catch a piece of conversation on the other side of the curtain that involved, "...a LOT of blood..." or, "....scarring...." and I'd get a little freaked. But Brandon always calmly put my fears to rest and helped to keep me in the moment. Another one of the countless reasons I love him.
Eventually, the doctor let Brandon know our baby was out and he could peek over the curtain to see if it was a boy or a girl and take some pictures. Brandon stood up, started clicking away, and I lay on my back, waiting to hear if we had a boy or a girl....and waiting....I heard the doctor say, "Can you see what it is, Brandon?" And he excitedly replied, "Yes!" And then he kept taking pictures. The doctor and nurses shouted, "Well, TELL her!!"
Poor Brandon got so caught up in the moment, he forgot I didn't know yet. He knelt next to me and whispered, "It's a boy! We have a SON!" Tears filled both our eyes as he showed me the first precious pictures of our newborn child. I whispered back, "He's perfect."
Once the cord was cut and they began working on cleaning the baby up, we could hear him screaming loudly from across the room--a welcome and reassuring sound. Brandon stayed with the baby while they finished my surgery, and we were all reunited again in the recovery room.
Also while I was finishing up, Brandon called Carson to tell her the news. Gram woke her up, and Brandon told her she had a little brother. With tears in her eyes, she turned to Brandon's mom and told her she had a baby brother. Carson's emotion and love were present from the moment she knew he existed.
One thing that was very different and pleasant about this birth was that, because it wasn't scheduled, it was happening at a very quiet time at the hospital. No one schedules a c-section for 9:00 pm on a Saturday. So we were literally the only ones in the recovery room. It was calm, peaceful, and we were able to really take some time to reflect and enjoy and wonder together before being rushed out to make space for the next mother and baby. I am grateful I have clear, strong memories of holding him for the first time, watching his first bath, and talking with Brandon about all of it.
Brandon asked one of the nurses to go let my family know everything was going well--but NOT to tell them if it was a boy or a girl. Despite attempts at bribery and threats, my family had to wait for Brandon to come deliver the news. When he did, my mom and sister screamed so loudly it scared my brother Jon to death.
In addition to all the other ways we were unprepared for this baby, we also had not officially and completely decided on a name, should it happen to be a boy. People kept asking us what his name was, and each time we would hesitantly say Declan. Brandon was in love with the name, but I was a bit less sure. At this point, I am positive it is a fantastic name for our little one--Irish in origin, like parts of both Brandon's and my families, unique, as we hope our son will be, and with a funny story in which I was sure Brandon had flat-out made up the name the first time he said it to me.
We knew a boy baby's middle name was going to be Thomas no matter what. This name too has significance for both of our families. It was a last name and then a middle name with my Scottish ancestors, it is my brother's name, and it is his mother's maiden name. Declan Thomas Bean is our son.
Once Declan was bathed and fully checked out (and they got the pain pump for my epidural running), we were allowed to go to our hospital room, where my mom, dad, sister, and brother were also able to meet Declan.
After some visiting time and getting settled in, they left to go home, and Brandon, Declan and I were left alone.
We stayed up until about 3am, talking, reliving, reflecting on the day. We laughed about how we'd planned a day of closet-organizing and football-watching (and a week of preparation for the baby coming), only to have God steer our lives in a slightly different direction.
There is so much more to say about the next few days--and all of the days between then and now--but I'll wrap it up for this post.
We are so thankful for our sweet boy, who is seriously perfection as far as we can tell. He sleeps during the night, rarely fusses, makes a million funny faces in his dreams....we can't wait to keep getting to know you, Declan!
https://plus.google.com/photos/116719683582872528226/albums/5816420889228787169?authkey=CM71kLSol72OEw
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Sunday, November 4, 2012
May 2012
Unlike the last post, this one will not be very picture-heavy. Apparently, we fell into some sort of camera-less void during the month of May. This probably happened for a few reasons:
1. Brandon was opening pools like a maniac, so weeknights and weekends together were fairly sporadic.
2. I was closing out the school year. Sending students to the next grade level, especially when it requires a change of schools (like sending my 8th graders to high school) requires a RIDICULOUS amount of paperwork. On each student. I teach 5 classes of 25-30 kids, so...well, that's a lot of paperwork on top of the usual day-to-day of grading and wrangling 14-year-olds who are so close to summer break they can smell it.
While Brandon and I were bogged down at work, Carson divided her weekdays between day care, Jana's house, and grandparent days at home. Little trooper.
A few cool things did happen this month though:
--potty training! Our whole approach to potty training was fairly...lazy. Basically, every once in awhile, we'd ask Carson if she wanted to sit on the potty. Usually, she didn't. We said okay. We know Carson's personality and trusted that pushing her would only lead to her digging in her heels. She'd be ready when she was ready, and we would just wait (what's the rush anyway??? With diapers, you can change them when you want. If they sit in a wet diaper for 20 minutes while you finish at the grocery store, it will not be the end of the world. Once in underwear though, the world must stop when they need to go. Not nearly as convenient).
We had underwear, a small potty, a potty seat...we thought we had everything we needed. The only thing we hadn't really tried yet was pull-ups. The idea seemed kind of weird to me: it's like a diaper but you try not to go potty in it...or it's like underwear but you can pee in it...seemed like mixed messages to me.
But Carson's day care wanated to move her up to the preschool class in June, and she couldn't go in diapers. So they suggested trying pull-ups because most of the other kids in class were using them. So we did.
And Carson was done peeing in diapers.
For some reason, pull-ups flipped that switch of wanting to potty train, which I think was the only one we were waiting on.
Anyway, we can count the number of accidents she has had since then, and we were so amazed and proud of how quickly she took to the change when she was ready! (pooping has been another story with another timeline, but we have since mastered that as well). Way to go, Carson!
--fantastic weather! We had lots of picnics, walks, playground visits, and our first trips to the pool in May.
There are few things Carson loves more than a picnic.
--I worked some this summer--I wrapped up a professional development project I had been working on and travelling to south Georgia for throughout the school year. Although it was a cool opportunity to help develop resources for the new nation-wide curriculum standards, it felt good to visit Perry, GA one last time this month (emphasis on LAST). I also got to be the Pre-Summer School Director for my school, which is a fancy way of saying "someone has to do all this paperwork for our federally-funded summer program--you win!" but it was easy and a good learning experience. And finally, I was a presenter at our county's annual Literacy Institute, where language arts teachers come to attend sessions, listen to authors, and collaborate about teaching. But all that was spread out over the course of May, June, and July. And so in May....SUMMER BREAK STARTED!!!
1. Brandon was opening pools like a maniac, so weeknights and weekends together were fairly sporadic.
2. I was closing out the school year. Sending students to the next grade level, especially when it requires a change of schools (like sending my 8th graders to high school) requires a RIDICULOUS amount of paperwork. On each student. I teach 5 classes of 25-30 kids, so...well, that's a lot of paperwork on top of the usual day-to-day of grading and wrangling 14-year-olds who are so close to summer break they can smell it.
While Brandon and I were bogged down at work, Carson divided her weekdays between day care, Jana's house, and grandparent days at home. Little trooper.
A few cool things did happen this month though:
--potty training! Our whole approach to potty training was fairly...lazy. Basically, every once in awhile, we'd ask Carson if she wanted to sit on the potty. Usually, she didn't. We said okay. We know Carson's personality and trusted that pushing her would only lead to her digging in her heels. She'd be ready when she was ready, and we would just wait (what's the rush anyway??? With diapers, you can change them when you want. If they sit in a wet diaper for 20 minutes while you finish at the grocery store, it will not be the end of the world. Once in underwear though, the world must stop when they need to go. Not nearly as convenient).
We had underwear, a small potty, a potty seat...we thought we had everything we needed. The only thing we hadn't really tried yet was pull-ups. The idea seemed kind of weird to me: it's like a diaper but you try not to go potty in it...or it's like underwear but you can pee in it...seemed like mixed messages to me.
But Carson's day care wanated to move her up to the preschool class in June, and she couldn't go in diapers. So they suggested trying pull-ups because most of the other kids in class were using them. So we did.
And Carson was done peeing in diapers.
For some reason, pull-ups flipped that switch of wanting to potty train, which I think was the only one we were waiting on.
Anyway, we can count the number of accidents she has had since then, and we were so amazed and proud of how quickly she took to the change when she was ready! (pooping has been another story with another timeline, but we have since mastered that as well). Way to go, Carson!
--fantastic weather! We had lots of picnics, walks, playground visits, and our first trips to the pool in May.
There are few things Carson loves more than a picnic.
--I worked some this summer--I wrapped up a professional development project I had been working on and travelling to south Georgia for throughout the school year. Although it was a cool opportunity to help develop resources for the new nation-wide curriculum standards, it felt good to visit Perry, GA one last time this month (emphasis on LAST). I also got to be the Pre-Summer School Director for my school, which is a fancy way of saying "someone has to do all this paperwork for our federally-funded summer program--you win!" but it was easy and a good learning experience. And finally, I was a presenter at our county's annual Literacy Institute, where language arts teachers come to attend sessions, listen to authors, and collaborate about teaching. But all that was spread out over the course of May, June, and July. And so in May....SUMMER BREAK STARTED!!!
Monday, October 22, 2012
Starting to Catch Up--April 2012
I think maybe a monthly run-down will be the easiest way to get back on track and record the wonderful fun we've had over the past several months!
Here are some of our favorite events from April this year:
1. Spring Break!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!! (doesn't have the same meaning it used to, but Spring Break is actually a lot more fun now than when we were in school).
Brandon is usually extremely busy this time of year--and he was again in 2012 as well. BUT he had one of the best seasons he has had in a loooong time, mainly because of who was working for him this year (we're so grateful for Dwayne's return!). Anyway, we got to spend more time with Brandon this spring than we have since C was born, so we REALLY enjoyed that.
This included some running,
playing with cousins (and a few other friends),
and general nonsense/hanging out.
C and I also took a Mommy-Carson trip to the zoo, which was super fun! C adores going to the zoo. We got to see a mommy gorilla and her newborn hanging out, as well as all of Carson's other favorites (which is all the animals).
We also got to make some crafts (& clean) for hosting Easter--and most importantly, just enjoyed each other's company, playing and relaxing.
2. Easter
We got to host Easter this year, which we always enjoy. We had an egg hunt, tons of good food, and got to share our new-baby news when Brandon announced it during the prayer. Here are some of our favorite pictures and an album of the day.
Here are some of our favorite events from April this year:
1. Spring Break!!!!! Woo-hoo!!!! (doesn't have the same meaning it used to, but Spring Break is actually a lot more fun now than when we were in school).
Brandon is usually extremely busy this time of year--and he was again in 2012 as well. BUT he had one of the best seasons he has had in a loooong time, mainly because of who was working for him this year (we're so grateful for Dwayne's return!). Anyway, we got to spend more time with Brandon this spring than we have since C was born, so we REALLY enjoyed that.
This included some running,
playing with cousins (and a few other friends),
and general nonsense/hanging out.
C and I also took a Mommy-Carson trip to the zoo, which was super fun! C adores going to the zoo. We got to see a mommy gorilla and her newborn hanging out, as well as all of Carson's other favorites (which is all the animals).
We also got to make some crafts (& clean) for hosting Easter--and most importantly, just enjoyed each other's company, playing and relaxing.
craft
cooking farmer's market
lunch date
2. Easter
We got to host Easter this year, which we always enjoy. We had an egg hunt, tons of good food, and got to share our new-baby news when Brandon announced it during the prayer. Here are some of our favorite pictures and an album of the day.
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