Ongoing Lists

I decided to update the ongoing lists, because I'm thinking of introducing a new one.  And so I thought I should probably acknowledge that I already have a few...and actually make them ongoing. 

Here are both complete lists, countdown-style, with the new additions in bold.

Failures at the Grocery Store

(I decided the grocery store was too narrow a topic.  Heads-up: this list might one day just be titled "Failures")

4. Streaking


Apparently, I haven't tried on clothes since Carson became mobile.  Recently, in Loft (my favorite clothing store ever), I was preparing to try on a few things and pulled my shirt off over my head just in time to see Carson's leg disappearing beneath the changing room door.  I was just about naked...and she was just about halfway to the car.  Thankfully, I was able to drop to the ground and go-go-gadget my arm out in time to grab her ankle and drag her back. 


Would I have sprinted mostly-nude into a public fitting room in order to capture my run-away kid?  Yes.  Would I (and every single witness) have been scarred for life as a result? Most certainly.

3. The Organic Failure

There I am, rolling through the produce department of the grocery store, with my little Bean sitting sweetly in the cart. She "flirts" with various strangers and stares wide-eyed at all the shapes and colors around her. She loves to crinkle paper--loves the feel and look of it as it changes shape in her hands--so I have given her the grocery list to play with as I grab the last few things that remain on it.

I am secretly, again, smugly patting myself on the back, as I carefully select organic fruits and veggies to be part of my daughter's all-organic, completely homemade diet. I am proud that I have stuck with the organic thing so far, and I'm really enjoying making her food while I have the time this summer. As I carefully place two perfectly pesticide-free, all-natural sweet potatoes in the cart and gaze lovingly at my precious angel, I realize (from the pulpy mush hanging from her lower lip and the tiny scrap of paper clenched between her fingers, reading only ---et potatoes, now) that she has eaten the grocery list.

I wonder if there's a way to find out if that paper was organic.

2. The Reusable Bag Debacle
I have been driving around with these reusable bags in my car, intending to take them into the grocery store to avoid using plastic bags when possible. The problem is, I keep forgetting to actually bring the reusable bags into the store. Der.

So on this day, the planets aligned and God smiled down on me and I was able to have the forethought to bring the bags inside with me. I'm smugly patting myself on the back for saving the planet and whatnot, and I go about my grocery shopping as usual. Being new to the whole mesh bag scene, I apparently didn't have enough reusable bags to contain all of my groceries. Really, I have like 2. So when the baggers ran out of room in these bags, they literally stopped and looked at each other and said, "What do we do now????" Completely dumbfounded. I told them it was okay to use plastic bags for the rest of the groceries (which of course I would bring back and recycle later). So they did.

Upon arriving home, I found that one of the items that didn't fit in a reusable bag was a carton of milk--you know, with a handle. You know, one that probably didn't need to be bagged, since it comes with its very own carrying mechanism. Only, my gallon of milk was DOUBLE BAGGED in plastic bags, virtually annihilating all the good I had done by using my reusable bags.


1. I feel like I should be carrying something....
I'm 8 months pregnant, waddling through the grocery store with my cart. I'm trying to hurry because, really--the grocery store is one of my absolute least favorite places on the planet. Grocery shopping is by far my the chore I hate most. But I digress.

I'm huge, I'm hungry, and I'm trying to quickly select only the things I need to make dinner for the next few nights. Survival is the key word here. I get to the checkout lane and everything goes smoothly--finally, I'm finished! I go to my car, drive home, park, and get my keys out to open the front door. That's when I get this feeling like I'm missing something. Like I left the house with more than I am coming home with--or that I just ran some errands and should be bringing something besides my purse inside the house.

Then it hits me--yes, I left EVERY SINGLE bag of groceries I just purchased sitting at the checkout lane. I paid for them, took my receipt, and walked out without another thought.

Important Things I've Learned as a Mother So Far

6. Children will not notify you when they are tall enough to reach the tops of tables.  They will just start pulling things down off of them.


5. Diaper bags are two-faced biotches.  When you're packing the bag before leaving the house, they are all, "Oh, I can carry everything you need.  I'm like Mary Poppins's bag.  Throw in a lamp if you want!"  And then you zip them up and take them with you.


But when you are are at your destination and leaving, say...a restaurant, because maybe your child is having a meltdown.  And the toys, blankets, books, snacks, and lamp you packed in your diaper bag are making the situation worse instead of better?  Well, then your diaper bag is all, "What's your problem, lady? Why are you trying to fit all that crap in here?  I KNOW you're not trying to close that zipper!" 
And you end up leaving a bread-crumb trail of links, burp cloths, Cheerios, and home lighting equipment back to your table.  Or rather, TOWARD yourself--so everyone in the restaurant can identify the terrible mother with the screaming kid.

4. A child will most likely throw up before/instead of choking to death.  Actually, our friends' baby Judah was kind enough to teach us this lesson while he and his parents were over for dinner this week. Good to know!

3. My colonoscopy was worth every moment in exchange for the glorious nap I got after arriving home. Best sleep I've had since before I was pregnant! Can't wait to do it again next year.


2. A child's drive to prove their parents wrong, generally associated with adolescence, actually begins much earlier in life. Do not EVER claim your son or daughter is a good eater, sleeps through the night, goes down well for naps, or anything similar to these seemingly harmless statements. Your child is listening and will immediately prove you to be completely and painfully incorrect.

1. It is critically important, when your child is shoving his or her hands into their mouth and sucking on nearly everything in sight, to determine the difference between "desire to eat" and "desire to teethe" before attempting to nurse said child.

Best. Age. Ever.

I am so in love with our baby girl.

The stage she is in right now (16 months) is pure joy.  She makes me smile all day long when I'm with her, and I miss her painfully when I'm not.  This is such a FUN time in her life!  I hypothesize that it's because she is old enough to verbalize most things she wants.  She can talk enough to tell us what she would and would not like to do/eat/read/sing.  She's mobile enough to run around, climb up on things, and take a tumble without it phasing her.  But she is not yet old enough to be in that 'terrible two' phase that looms ahead, where everything is uncertain and dramatic and scary and...not fun. 

We are also not in the midst of any major transitions.  Sleeping through the night? Check.  Solid food? Check. Potty training? Not yet.  Discipline? Close but not too intense yet.  So there just isn't much for us to stress about right now...it's just learning through activity and interaction.  She loves us so openly and plays so enthusiastically.  She is just awesome.

Here are some things I want to remember about this time:

*She is so freaking silly.  She will do anything for a laugh, like pick up her sippy cup with her teeth, do a headstand, make a silly face, play with her tongue...she just loves to make us chuckle and do silly things back to her.

*Along the same lines, she loves our (or anyone else's) attention.  She will repeatedly do any of the silly things mentioned above, as well as hum loudly, do a 'no-hands' headstand, and just put her nose right in our faces if we are not interacting with her at the level she would like.  She says, "Hiiiiiii," to strangers in the grocery store or at church until they say it back, and she is thoroughly confused when everyone around her isn't staring at her.  Really, I am confused by this too because I just can't stop :)

Here's a video of her playing with her daddy.

See? Fun. :)

*While she does not understand what "I love you" means yet, she has started mimicking us when we say it.  She has a book we often read called How Do I Love You and so when she tries to say I love you, it comes out, "How do."  So cute.  I'll always remember when I opened her car door to pick her up and she said, "Mama, Mama! How do."  Melt.  It's hard not to over-do it with this simple yet meaningful phrase.  Part of me wants to say it to her every 3 seconds.  But at the same time, I want to use it sparingly, in moments where its meaning is clear and strong, so she can begin to understand how powerful and special this phrase should be.  I also always want her to know that when I say it to her, I am saying it with purpose, not out of habit.

*Her favorite lullaby these days is the happy birthday song.  And we sing happy birthday to everyone we know while we are rocking before bed.

*Speaking of lullabies, naptime and bedtime have become a dream.  When she starts to get tired, she says, "Rock," and points to her rocking chair in her room. So we rock and read or sing.  After a bit, we ask, "Are you ready to get in your bed?" and she answers honestly.  Sometimes she says "No. Rock," and so we hold her for a few more minutes in the chair.  When she's ready, she says, "Bed," and then points to her dragonfly mobile and asks for it to be turned on.  We put her down, start the music, and walk away.  And she's asleep before the music stops.  AMAZING.

*We're also loving her 'grown-up phrases,' which I call that because she says them with the exact intonations that Brandon and I often use.   The most common one is, "Okay" (which she says like she's suspicious of what she is agreeing to).  She also says 'okay' in the same breath as a request for something, such as, "Up? Okay!"  I guess I say it often when I agree to help her with something, so she has started just saying it for me.  I'm not sure if I've ever met a one-year-old who asks for hummus, but Carson does on a daily basis. When she says it, she lingers a bit on the "m" sound and it's pretty funny.  There is also, "Yeah." (which she says very flippantly, "Yah" or intensely, "YEEAAAHHHH").  She has also been telling me, her toys, and her books to, "Hang on," in a sing-song-y voice, which I guess I say much too often to her. 

It is all hilarious.

You can hear her say 'hang on' in this video, as she readies a 'bed' for her stuffed dog.  That's another new thing lately--imaginary play. She pretends to feed her toy animals and takes very good care of them, giving lots of hugs and careful attention.


*Somehow, Carson seems to have gotten a bossy streak.  She first bossed me one day when we were outside, and she said, "Mama, sit down."  Since then, she has gotten slightly confused and forgets that only things with bottoms can technically sit down.  She'll say, "Sit down, milk," when she sets her cup down to pick up something else.  Or when she wants me to put her yogurt container on her tray so she can feed it to herself, she says, "Mama? Yogurt, sit down," and points to her tray.

*While she is very interactive, upbeat, and rowdy for a good portion of the day, she can also spend 30 minutes putting her animals into and out of her ark, lining up her play silverware, or putting all her animals 'night-night'. And while I could do a million other things while she is busy with her 'work' (because clearly to her, this is not playful nonsense), I just sit and watch her little hands.

Busy at her desk                                                                                                                                            Bedtime on the ark    

*When she doesn't know the word for something or just wants to 'chat' she says, "Abbadabbas!"  It will never get old.

I know one day she will worry about being too silly or too sensitive.  I know one day she will despise her bedtime and curfew.  Before we know it, she will want to do everything herself and won't think we're nearly as clever as she does now.  But in the meantime, we are soaking up every minute with her, because she is just too cool to do anything else!