Our sweet little man turned ONE this week. I find this impossible to wrap my head around and still feel like I am processing it through a fog. But there was a party, he has a one-year check-up scheduled at the pediatrician, everyone else says it's true. It is probably so.
Here are a few things we have learned about Declan in our first amazing year with him:
He lives on Soul Train: the kid will dance to the dishwasher, to his little friend Ashley banging two toys together, to actual music...he assumes that pretty much any two sounds in a row count as a steady beat & moves himself accordingly.
He adores big sis: Duh. Don't all younger siblings adore their elder ones? (I'm looking at you, Toby, Tom, Anna...)
He likes to be near the action: he doesn't necessarily need to be INVOLVED in the action, but he needs to be near it. We noticed this when we were still in the hospital after he was born and in the first days after we brought him home. If everyone left the room, even if he was fast asleep, he began to stir and become disgruntled. As soon as the ambient noise returned, he settled down. Now, he is happy to play with a toy in a room by himself, as long as he can hear everyone nearby. He just seems to be comforted by companionship, which I think is pretty sweet.
He seems to have already developed a sense of humor. He enjoys making people laugh and LOVES to laugh with you. If you think something's funny, then it's funny enough for him. Whether it's honking your nose or banging on his high chair, he has a great time watching you enjoy life.
He gives GREAT hugs. This is one of my favorite things these days. Especially if you enter a room for the first time in awhile--or when Daddy gets home from work--he sort of starts to giggle, reaches out both hands, looks like he's going for your eyes, and then wraps his chubby loving arms around your neck and squeezes. And doesn't let go until it seems like it's time. We have been reveling in this innocent and genuine outpouring of love.
He's fairly adaptable: if he goes down late for nap or bed, or is woken up early, he is usually not a total disaster. He seems to be able to roll with changes in routine fairly easily.
He enjoys the thrill of the chase: there is no squeal like the one Declan lets loose as he 'escapes' the room you are in and takes off down the hallway. He laughs a big belly laugh when you say, "I'm gonna get you Declan!" and giggles all the more when you catch him.
A few other recent Declan facts:
Favorite foods: bananas, avocados, pizza
Favorite books: What Shall We Do with the Boo-Hoo Baby (Cressida Cowell), Moo, Baa, La La La (Sandra Boynton), and Fingers and Toes (Parragon Books).
Favorite toys: singing mailbox, singing/jumping monkey (really, anything that plays music for him is his favorite), and he is just starting to get into things that he can roll around, especially balls and cars.
And here is a link to a video of his first year:
http://youtu.be/zsmMbSWDnS4
Happy birthday, Declan! We love you more than words can express.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Staying Home
So I left off in the last post, talking about why we decided for me to stay home this school year. Here is where I'd like to pick up:
Is staying at home hard? Yes, in some ways:
*I love teaching. I feel like I was meant to teach middle school, and I will miss it while I'm gone.
*It can get lonely. I miss grown-ups--although teaching middle school, you don't get to see that many grown-ups (however, some might argue 8th graders are my true peers).
*It can get boring--the same rooms, same toys, same routine each day.
*It's a lot of responsibility--am I too easy on them? Am I teaching them the 'stuff' about life they're supposed to be learning? But you know what--leaving that responsibility to someone else when they're so young--that was infinitely harder for me.
*I hate doing dishes & laundry. I do them a lot now.
But was working full time with my kids in day care harder? Um, no competition. I don't think anything is harder than being a working parent. For me anyway. Because you still have to do all of the parenting stuff--you still have to try to teach them, spend time with them, keep them clean and healthy, encourage and comfort them--but you have so few hours to do it.
The chores don't go away. There is just less time to do them.
To schedule a doctor's appointment for one of Declan's many ear infections, I also had to notify 5 different people at my school, schedule a substitute teacher (which often required more than 20 phone calls and lots of begging--my school is not the most popular place to sub), write lesson plans, and play catch-up at work upon my return.
The schedule we were doing was not sustainable. Not for us. And I admire and respect all the parents who maintain it consistently.
Every day was hard. And long. I mean, from the time the kids left the house to when they returned was almost 11 hours, 5 days a week.
Every day was heartbreaking. The kids were so tired. So tired. All the time. My heart fell to pieces every time I had to nudge their precious faces awake in the morning or look at their over-tired eyes across the dinner table. And it wasn't fair to them.
And I missed them. I would go to fill out Declan's baby book during those months and realize I didn't know what to write.
And it wasn't fair to my students, who often got a teacher with only half a brain, very little sleep, and poor concentration trying to help them prepare for their high-stakes tests.
Looking back, I think the breaking point for me was when I sat Declan down at day care one morning, let go, and he continued sitting up on the floor. All by himself! I cheered! I clapped! I called his teachers' names to show them what he could do!
And they smiled & nodded.
I began to suspect they had seen it before. I asked, and it was true. We had missed him learning to sit up by himself.
That was when I decided there had to be another way. That the cost was too great for me. Because on top of the exhaustion and heartbreak, we were missing it. Missing him.
We loved their day care and it was hard to leave, but it was harder to leave them there.
And now the back-to-school sales have ended without a visit from me, and I haven't attended a pointless meeting since May, for the first time in 12 years.
In August, I began taking care of the sweet daughter of some long-time friends, and I'm excited about that too. I look forward to getting to know her and to my kids getting to play with her. And most of all, I look forward to being with my children. Pretty much every day. How cool is that?!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Is staying at home hard? Yes, in some ways:
*I love teaching. I feel like I was meant to teach middle school, and I will miss it while I'm gone.
*It can get lonely. I miss grown-ups--although teaching middle school, you don't get to see that many grown-ups (however, some might argue 8th graders are my true peers).
*It can get boring--the same rooms, same toys, same routine each day.
*It's a lot of responsibility--am I too easy on them? Am I teaching them the 'stuff' about life they're supposed to be learning? But you know what--leaving that responsibility to someone else when they're so young--that was infinitely harder for me.
*I hate doing dishes & laundry. I do them a lot now.
But was working full time with my kids in day care harder? Um, no competition. I don't think anything is harder than being a working parent. For me anyway. Because you still have to do all of the parenting stuff--you still have to try to teach them, spend time with them, keep them clean and healthy, encourage and comfort them--but you have so few hours to do it.
The chores don't go away. There is just less time to do them.
To schedule a doctor's appointment for one of Declan's many ear infections, I also had to notify 5 different people at my school, schedule a substitute teacher (which often required more than 20 phone calls and lots of begging--my school is not the most popular place to sub), write lesson plans, and play catch-up at work upon my return.
The schedule we were doing was not sustainable. Not for us. And I admire and respect all the parents who maintain it consistently.
Every day was hard. And long. I mean, from the time the kids left the house to when they returned was almost 11 hours, 5 days a week.
Every day was heartbreaking. The kids were so tired. So tired. All the time. My heart fell to pieces every time I had to nudge their precious faces awake in the morning or look at their over-tired eyes across the dinner table. And it wasn't fair to them.
And I missed them. I would go to fill out Declan's baby book during those months and realize I didn't know what to write.
And it wasn't fair to my students, who often got a teacher with only half a brain, very little sleep, and poor concentration trying to help them prepare for their high-stakes tests.
Looking back, I think the breaking point for me was when I sat Declan down at day care one morning, let go, and he continued sitting up on the floor. All by himself! I cheered! I clapped! I called his teachers' names to show them what he could do!
And they smiled & nodded.
I began to suspect they had seen it before. I asked, and it was true. We had missed him learning to sit up by himself.
That was when I decided there had to be another way. That the cost was too great for me. Because on top of the exhaustion and heartbreak, we were missing it. Missing him.
We loved their day care and it was hard to leave, but it was harder to leave them there.
And now the back-to-school sales have ended without a visit from me, and I haven't attended a pointless meeting since May, for the first time in 12 years.
In August, I began taking care of the sweet daughter of some long-time friends, and I'm excited about that too. I look forward to getting to know her and to my kids getting to play with her. And most of all, I look forward to being with my children. Pretty much every day. How cool is that?!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Back to Work
Going back to work after maternity leave (a long, long time ago at this point...) was hard. It was much harder than I expected it to be. I expected it to be similar to going back to work after Carson, but it was approximately 100 times harder for me.
After Carson was born, I finished out the school year and all of the next one working only part-time, which was an ideal situation. But paying for part-time day care for two kids would have cost us money for me to work.
So...I went back.
Here's how the daily schedule went:
5:00am: wake up, get myself ready for work, eat, pump
6:00am: Brandon woke up Carson, got her dressed & started on breakfast while I finished putting lunches & bottles & bibs & clothes into bags for the day
6:30am: Brandon leaves for work, I wake up Declan. Feed and dress him.
6:50am: begin the tooth-brushing battle with Carson, which always ended with at least one of us in tears (but damnit, her teeth were brushed every day). Do C's hair. Another epic battle.
7:00am: load the car and head out (realistically, this was always more like 7:15)
7:50am: arrive at day care, drop kids off in their classrooms, head to my work
8:15am: arrive at work.
8:15-4:15: work, pump (I only got walked in on 3 times--and only once by a student), attend meetings, etc.
4:20pm: finish bus duty and dash out of school to pick up the kids (if I missed this departure time by even 3 minutes, it would easily add 20 minutes to my total trip time)
4:40: arrive at day care, attempt to quickly get as much information as possible about my children's days, interact with their teachers, classmates & other parents picking up, load car, begin driving home
5:30-5:45pm: arrive home, unload car, begin making dinner, feed Declan
6:30pm: eat dinner
7:00pm: begin bath time and bedtime routine
8:00pm: hopefully both kids are in bed. Brandon does laundry while I do dishes or vice versa. Then he works (my work return coincided perfectly with his busy season starting up) while I prep bottles and lunches for the next day. 10:00: I collapse into bed, hoping for only one or two nighttime feedings with Declan, feeling like I barely saw my kids--except in the rearview mirror--or my husband--except for a quick kiss goodnight.
I do not post this to complain. Many people keep far more difficult schedules than this and do it without the partnership that Brandon and I have. I am not complaining, because we chose for me to go back to work. We chose to have two children, God-willing. To complain about something you consciously choose for yourself makes little sense. The reason I post this is so I can remind myself why we made the next big decision for our family.
I have quit teaching for now.
And that's why I'm posting this. Because I know there will be days as a stay at home mom I'll feel like the day was hard. I'll be frustrated or overwhelmed or just plain tired of my house. I want to be able to look back at that schedule and remember one of the many reasons we made this choice....
And that's what the next post will be about!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
After Carson was born, I finished out the school year and all of the next one working only part-time, which was an ideal situation. But paying for part-time day care for two kids would have cost us money for me to work.
So...I went back.
Here's how the daily schedule went:
5:00am: wake up, get myself ready for work, eat, pump
6:00am: Brandon woke up Carson, got her dressed & started on breakfast while I finished putting lunches & bottles & bibs & clothes into bags for the day
6:30am: Brandon leaves for work, I wake up Declan. Feed and dress him.
6:50am: begin the tooth-brushing battle with Carson, which always ended with at least one of us in tears (but damnit, her teeth were brushed every day). Do C's hair. Another epic battle.
7:00am: load the car and head out (realistically, this was always more like 7:15)
7:50am: arrive at day care, drop kids off in their classrooms, head to my work
8:15am: arrive at work.
8:15-4:15: work, pump (I only got walked in on 3 times--and only once by a student), attend meetings, etc.
4:20pm: finish bus duty and dash out of school to pick up the kids (if I missed this departure time by even 3 minutes, it would easily add 20 minutes to my total trip time)
4:40: arrive at day care, attempt to quickly get as much information as possible about my children's days, interact with their teachers, classmates & other parents picking up, load car, begin driving home
5:30-5:45pm: arrive home, unload car, begin making dinner, feed Declan
6:30pm: eat dinner
7:00pm: begin bath time and bedtime routine
8:00pm: hopefully both kids are in bed. Brandon does laundry while I do dishes or vice versa. Then he works (my work return coincided perfectly with his busy season starting up) while I prep bottles and lunches for the next day. 10:00: I collapse into bed, hoping for only one or two nighttime feedings with Declan, feeling like I barely saw my kids--except in the rearview mirror--or my husband--except for a quick kiss goodnight.
I do not post this to complain. Many people keep far more difficult schedules than this and do it without the partnership that Brandon and I have. I am not complaining, because we chose for me to go back to work. We chose to have two children, God-willing. To complain about something you consciously choose for yourself makes little sense. The reason I post this is so I can remind myself why we made the next big decision for our family.
I have quit teaching for now.
And that's why I'm posting this. Because I know there will be days as a stay at home mom I'll feel like the day was hard. I'll be frustrated or overwhelmed or just plain tired of my house. I want to be able to look back at that schedule and remember one of the many reasons we made this choice....
And that's what the next post will be about!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Maternity Leave
In honor of Throwback Thursday, I thought I'd do a post about something that happened a long time ago...
Maternity leave was amazing for so many reasons. The two main ones were:
1. no work
2. new baby
...not necessarily in that order. Here are a few highlights of the time from when Declan was born to the beginning of March:
brother-sister time--I've said this before, but Carson was an amazing big sister even before Declan was born. We were curious if her feelings about big sisterhood would change once the baby was here in the flesh, but she was truly awesome. As in, we were in awe of her. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the adjustment period to happen...but she was so loving and careful and proud to be a big sis (side note--the adjusting happened when I returned to work).
One of the greatest joys in these past 10 months has been watching the 2 of them with each other. He is enamored with her, and she acts as if her sole purpose in life is caring for him. We couldn't have dreamed for it to go better than it did.
Declan time--We are very happy with the decision we made to keep Carson in preschool a few days a week while I was on maternity leave. Would it have saved some money to keep her home full time? Yes. But we would have paid that price tenfold in tears and heartbreak when she went from home full-time to school full-time after maternity leave was over. It was definitely good for her to get some time with the big kids at school too. The focus could be on her, and she didn't have to think about Declan all the time. She could do big kid stuff with other big kids, which we feel was really healthy for Carson.
The other bonus to this decision was that we got some time to focus on Declan. We knew him being the second baby was a trade-off--he wouldn't get nearly as much one-on-one attention as C did, but he would have all of the advantages that come from having an older sibling, like watching her try the hard stuff first and the social advantages of always having to share & always having another kid around. Carson being in school a few days a week gave Declan some good chunks of one-on-one time, which we were happy to give him. It was joyful to watch him learn new things and develop (or, often, just to watch him sleep).
Carson time--Being home on maternity leave allowed me to get some extra Carson time as well. She and I would make pancakes at least once a week, with her perched on the counter in her apron and PJ's, while I helped measure and mix. I was also able to attend a few of her class parties and ballet classes, which I had always wanted to do but couldn't, due to the middle-of-the-day nature of such events. Carson also started taking gymnastics--something we hoped she'd enjoy and that would again give us some time to focus on her. So far, she is loving it and was even invited to attend a 'big kid' class, where the class is twice as long and some of the kids are twice her age. She is doing great and keeping up nicely.
Christmas--While this past Christmas was a bit tough, due to some sort of virus that knocked Brandon & Carson flatly on their asses, it was still pretty magical having our family of 4 sitting under the tree that morning. Christmas prep, Christmas Eve Mass (my favorite service of the year), and family bonding took a back seat to trying to protect the newborn from whatever devilish germs were running amok in Brandon & Carson, while also trying to help them recover. I would bet that Carson barely remembers Christmas at all (and we did a terrible job taking pictures that would help her remember). We were blessed that everyone soon recovered--and especially fortunate that Declan and I stayed healthy.
Outings--One of the best parts of the sometimes-stay-at-home-mom gig I do as a teacher is the opportunity to take the kids out to experience new and fun things. We went to the zoo, to parks & playgrounds, Monkey Joe's, the Children's Museum, and more. I had a blast taking the kids out on the town and, as always, loved watching them experience new and fun adventures.
Road trips--We were even able to get out of town a couple times while Declan was all brand-new. Once, we went to visit Brandon's grandparents and aunt in South Carolina, which was fun and relaxing as always.
And then we got to visit our good friends Kristin & Marc and their kids in Raleigh, NC for a few days. It snowed (although not enough to stick) and we got to visit their local children's museum, play with all their toys, and hang out with other parents who had also recently entered the world of having two kids.
Sleep--While we weren't able to do the whole 'nap when the baby naps' thing this go-round, we definitely got more sleep while I was on leave than when I wasn't. Declan has never quite grasped the value of a nice long nap (largely due to acid reflux but also due to his determination not to miss any of the fun), so his 20-minute naps usually gave us just enough time to sit down and realize how tired we were before it was time to pick him up again. But really, there are far worse things than hangin' with your newborn, even if you're tired doing it.
Anyway, that was sort of a whirlwind summary of those 4 quick months. We feel like we settled quickly and fairly smoothly into being a family of four, and of course now we can't remember much of life before we were.
I think this is a link to our pictures.
Most of all, we are grateful that our kids are healthy, and we are excited to continue watching them grow together.
Maternity leave was amazing for so many reasons. The two main ones were:
1. no work
2. new baby
...not necessarily in that order. Here are a few highlights of the time from when Declan was born to the beginning of March:
brother-sister time--I've said this before, but Carson was an amazing big sister even before Declan was born. We were curious if her feelings about big sisterhood would change once the baby was here in the flesh, but she was truly awesome. As in, we were in awe of her. We kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the adjustment period to happen...but she was so loving and careful and proud to be a big sis (side note--the adjusting happened when I returned to work).
One of the greatest joys in these past 10 months has been watching the 2 of them with each other. He is enamored with her, and she acts as if her sole purpose in life is caring for him. We couldn't have dreamed for it to go better than it did.
Declan time--We are very happy with the decision we made to keep Carson in preschool a few days a week while I was on maternity leave. Would it have saved some money to keep her home full time? Yes. But we would have paid that price tenfold in tears and heartbreak when she went from home full-time to school full-time after maternity leave was over. It was definitely good for her to get some time with the big kids at school too. The focus could be on her, and she didn't have to think about Declan all the time. She could do big kid stuff with other big kids, which we feel was really healthy for Carson.
The other bonus to this decision was that we got some time to focus on Declan. We knew him being the second baby was a trade-off--he wouldn't get nearly as much one-on-one attention as C did, but he would have all of the advantages that come from having an older sibling, like watching her try the hard stuff first and the social advantages of always having to share & always having another kid around. Carson being in school a few days a week gave Declan some good chunks of one-on-one time, which we were happy to give him. It was joyful to watch him learn new things and develop (or, often, just to watch him sleep).
Carson time--Being home on maternity leave allowed me to get some extra Carson time as well. She and I would make pancakes at least once a week, with her perched on the counter in her apron and PJ's, while I helped measure and mix. I was also able to attend a few of her class parties and ballet classes, which I had always wanted to do but couldn't, due to the middle-of-the-day nature of such events. Carson also started taking gymnastics--something we hoped she'd enjoy and that would again give us some time to focus on her. So far, she is loving it and was even invited to attend a 'big kid' class, where the class is twice as long and some of the kids are twice her age. She is doing great and keeping up nicely.
Christmas--While this past Christmas was a bit tough, due to some sort of virus that knocked Brandon & Carson flatly on their asses, it was still pretty magical having our family of 4 sitting under the tree that morning. Christmas prep, Christmas Eve Mass (my favorite service of the year), and family bonding took a back seat to trying to protect the newborn from whatever devilish germs were running amok in Brandon & Carson, while also trying to help them recover. I would bet that Carson barely remembers Christmas at all (and we did a terrible job taking pictures that would help her remember). We were blessed that everyone soon recovered--and especially fortunate that Declan and I stayed healthy.
Outings--One of the best parts of the sometimes-stay-at-home-mom gig I do as a teacher is the opportunity to take the kids out to experience new and fun things. We went to the zoo, to parks & playgrounds, Monkey Joe's, the Children's Museum, and more. I had a blast taking the kids out on the town and, as always, loved watching them experience new and fun adventures.
Road trips--We were even able to get out of town a couple times while Declan was all brand-new. Once, we went to visit Brandon's grandparents and aunt in South Carolina, which was fun and relaxing as always.
And then we got to visit our good friends Kristin & Marc and their kids in Raleigh, NC for a few days. It snowed (although not enough to stick) and we got to visit their local children's museum, play with all their toys, and hang out with other parents who had also recently entered the world of having two kids.
Sleep--While we weren't able to do the whole 'nap when the baby naps' thing this go-round, we definitely got more sleep while I was on leave than when I wasn't. Declan has never quite grasped the value of a nice long nap (largely due to acid reflux but also due to his determination not to miss any of the fun), so his 20-minute naps usually gave us just enough time to sit down and realize how tired we were before it was time to pick him up again. But really, there are far worse things than hangin' with your newborn, even if you're tired doing it.
Anyway, that was sort of a whirlwind summary of those 4 quick months. We feel like we settled quickly and fairly smoothly into being a family of four, and of course now we can't remember much of life before we were.
I think this is a link to our pictures.
Most of all, we are grateful that our kids are healthy, and we are excited to continue watching them grow together.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Dress Code
So, about 10 years ahead of schedule, I had my first incident of Carson trying to sneak out of the house wearing an outfit SHE wanted under an outfit she knew I'd find acceptable. I really thought this was a middle school thing, but I'm thinking that a lot about Carson's choices lately, and I'm no longer sure that early childhood and adolescence are all that different as far as stages go.
Carson was playing dress-up yesterday morning, which is fantastic. She hasn't always loved the dress-up scene, and she only occasionally chooses girly dress-up outfits. Yesterday, she chose this:
Which was great, until we were ready to go run errands. I told her she couldn't wear her getup to the store, even though it was fabulous and glamorous and amazing.
She fought it a little, but eventually sighed her way to her room, presumably to change.
She returned looking like regular Carson...and then she walked past me, and I noticed a little sparkly, purple fluff hanging out from beneath her striped dress. At first, I thought the tutu had gotten caught up in her pants as she was changing. Upon further inspection, I realized she had repositioned it under her clothes so that SHE knew it was there but I wouldn't.
For a brief, fleeting moment, I was frustrated that she had tried to pull one over on me, after I had instructed her to remove the crazy (albeit hilarious) outfit.
And then my heart ached, because I felt like I had stifled her creativity and sense of identity and made a 3-year-old feel like she had to hide her wardrobe from me.
I quickly skimmed through the lessons I could use this teachable moment for:
1. when Mommy tells you to do something, you do it. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
2. Mommy sees everything. Even when you try to hide something from her, she will always find out. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
3. Never be afraid to be yourself--or to really speak up if something is important to you. If you're going to wear a purple tutu, you better rock it. Now put that tutu on the outside of your clothes where everyone can see it and get ready to go. And also, next time use your words instead of sneaking.
I chose #3, and we both felt pretty good about it. And next time we have a wardrobe "discussion", I will be more open-minded.
You know, I have a friend from work whose multi-racial teenage son once commented, "Man, white people let their kids wear ANYTHING! You never see young Hispanic or black kids wearing crazy outfits in public."
And maybe that teenager was right. Maybe it is a cultural thing. I often think of his comment when I allow Carson to wear a tutu or shorts with rain boots and a winter hat. And I chuckle and hope that maybe some teenager in the aisles of Target will see my kiddo and make a similar comment to his parent and they'll both get a good laugh about it.
I mean, if we can't laugh and wear a purple tutu, then what can we do?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Carson was playing dress-up yesterday morning, which is fantastic. She hasn't always loved the dress-up scene, and she only occasionally chooses girly dress-up outfits. Yesterday, she chose this:
Which was great, until we were ready to go run errands. I told her she couldn't wear her getup to the store, even though it was fabulous and glamorous and amazing.
She fought it a little, but eventually sighed her way to her room, presumably to change.
She returned looking like regular Carson...and then she walked past me, and I noticed a little sparkly, purple fluff hanging out from beneath her striped dress. At first, I thought the tutu had gotten caught up in her pants as she was changing. Upon further inspection, I realized she had repositioned it under her clothes so that SHE knew it was there but I wouldn't.
For a brief, fleeting moment, I was frustrated that she had tried to pull one over on me, after I had instructed her to remove the crazy (albeit hilarious) outfit.
And then my heart ached, because I felt like I had stifled her creativity and sense of identity and made a 3-year-old feel like she had to hide her wardrobe from me.
I quickly skimmed through the lessons I could use this teachable moment for:
1. when Mommy tells you to do something, you do it. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
2. Mommy sees everything. Even when you try to hide something from her, she will always find out. Now remove the tutu and get ready to go.
3. Never be afraid to be yourself--or to really speak up if something is important to you. If you're going to wear a purple tutu, you better rock it. Now put that tutu on the outside of your clothes where everyone can see it and get ready to go. And also, next time use your words instead of sneaking.
I chose #3, and we both felt pretty good about it. And next time we have a wardrobe "discussion", I will be more open-minded.
You know, I have a friend from work whose multi-racial teenage son once commented, "Man, white people let their kids wear ANYTHING! You never see young Hispanic or black kids wearing crazy outfits in public."
And maybe that teenager was right. Maybe it is a cultural thing. I often think of his comment when I allow Carson to wear a tutu or shorts with rain boots and a winter hat. And I chuckle and hope that maybe some teenager in the aisles of Target will see my kiddo and make a similar comment to his parent and they'll both get a good laugh about it.
I mean, if we can't laugh and wear a purple tutu, then what can we do?
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, August 19, 2013
Things I Never Want to Forget About My Kids
1. the feeling of Carson's three-year-old fingers playing with my hair while I lay with her after bedtime prayers
2. Declan's 'flirty eyes' -- they're sure to cause him/me trouble someday, but they melt my heart
3. the way Carson turns EVERYTHING into a song--and always has a song playing in her head
4. Declan's belly laugh, which he gives freely and often. I especially want to remember the 'anticipatory belly laugh' that bubbles out when he is waiting to be tickled but has not actually been touched yet.
And a few things I wouldn't mind being sacrificed to the black hole of my diminishing memory......
1. the sounds of 'sleep training' or whatever you want to call it when your kid learns to put themselves to sleep
2. tantrums of any kind, including my own
3. that soggy feeling that comes from being slightly damp with spit up, drool, snot, and various mushed-up foods all day
On second thought, I will miss all of these things too one day--when Declan can do more than just cry when he's mad (for example, curse at/about me) , when Carson can get in her car and drive away instead of plopping on the floor in a puddle, and when my kids no longer need me to wipe their noses and mush up their food--I will miss these feelings and these moments too.
Okay, it can all stay.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Some People
So. Today, this motley crew and I ventured to the vet's office. The visit was an adventure, to say the least. The part I wish to write about is the end. The very end. Like the brief walk from the doorway to our car.
It was here that a total stranger felt the desire/urge/need to answer a question I had not asked.
To set the scene, the 8-month-old, the 3-year-old, the anxious dog, and I had been locked in a small room at the vet's office for an hour. Upon our release, we sort of exploded out of the doors. I was half-dragging, half-being dragged across the parking lot.
This must have been the point that the 'good Samaritan' woman locked her sights on me. I believe this, because she crossed several parking spaces to approach me and meet me at my car. The fact that she had observed my group for more than 3 seconds means she had time to observe AT LEAST one of the following:
1. my frazzled hair due to lack of a 4th hand with which to sweep it out of my face
2. the fact that I was pushing a stroller with a baby in it
3. my wayward 3-year-old, holding onto the stroller but still dancing between it and the flow of traffic
4. the partial amputation being performed by the dog's leash on my right hand, due to his mistaken belief that we were racing to the vehicle
5. the gash down my arm(pit), due to my dog leaping INTO my shirt out of fear while waiting for the vet
Any of these observations would have deterred an average/normal/polite stranger from approaching a stranger in a parking lot.
But not this gem. She had a message to deliver. She had a PSA that I needed to hear.
And when she reached my hobbling, racing, drooling, dancing brood...these are the words that escaped her lips:
"You know, you should really be careful on the pavement. Dogs can burn their paws this time of year."
What.
The.
Eff.
I smiled & nodded...I think I actually thanked her.
And then, once I had tossed my gang into the car and began to regain the mental capacity to consider her words, I went through several stages. Disbelief. Rage. Acceptance.
But mostly rage.
I mean, what the crap did she want me to do? Drag the baby and put the DOG in the stroller? Buy shoes for my dog?? (by the way, he would never wear shoes) Carry the dog in my 5th hand?? Those are the only options I can think of. And they're all freaking stupid.
Seriously, some people.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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