Does Not Play Well with Others

Me, not Carson.

I took C to the park this weekend, and we had a total blast.  I'm partly posting about that.  I'm also posting about how strange I think it is to have your child play with a bunch of strangers' kids, monitored by their stranger-parents.  Sometimes it's hard to tell which kids belong with which parents, so it's hard to know if you need to be the one to step in.  Sometimes it's clear who their parents are--and just as clear that those parents are taking the day off.  And sometimes you're the one who is the dingbat parent. 

I've been wondering and worrying about Carson's socialization, including how she will and does interact with other kids.  Until today, I had no idea I needed to worry about my own interactions.  I found myself in several situations where I wasn't sure what to do.  I had an initial impulse, and then I stopped and thought...and reacted differently.  At times, I think my initial reaction was better.  At times, it was probably good that I stopped and took a few deep breaths.

Here are a few decisions I was faced with. Tell me what you think.

Situation 1:  A 3-year-old boy sticks his head out of a tunnel, glares at Carson, who is climbing up some nearby steps, and yells, "YOU are BAD!!!!" and just stares at her.

Initial impulse:  punch the kid in the face, scoop Carson up and run to the car. Race home & stockpile non-perishable foods so she never has to leave, and therefore never has to deal with jerks.

Actual reaction:  I froze.  I just stared at the kid.  I wasn't sure if the man standing next to me was his dad, so I wasn't sure if he was going to spring into action and correct the boy.  I didn't know if I should reassure Carson or if it had gone over her head & calling attention to it would then make her upset.  So I just stood there with my mouth open.  It turned out the man was NOT this boy's father, but he still stepped in and told the boy matter-of-factly, "No, she's not."


Situation 2:  Carson and another girl about her age are climbing up the same part of the swingset.  Carson wants to get past the girl, who wasn't moving quite as fast as her (not bragging, just saying)

Initial impulse:  start chanting, "Go Carson, go!  You can do it!" while watching in mock sadness as the girl topples off the step, forced over by the sheer wind force of Carson's acceleration (in my defense, it was only 3" off the ground).

Actual reaction:  pick Carson up so she doesn't run over the other kiddo and explain it will be her turn to climb soon.


Situation 3:  while I am talking to some parents who are letting Carson pet their dog, Carson bolts and almost gets smashed by a toddler on a swing.

Initial impulse:  become a sobbing mess, apologize to Carson for nearly getting her killed, and punish myself by recycling my Real Simple magazine before I read it this month.

Actual reaction:  Play it cool. I totally meant for my toddler to have a near-death experience.  Rub some dirt on it and move on.  Good chatting with you guys.


Situation 4: a girl of about 6 is playing in the 'toddler section' of the playground with a huge stick, poking it into holes right near Carson's head and being very nonchallant with this weapon of mass destruction she is weilding.

Initial impulse:  grab the stick, break it into tiny pieces, feed it to 6-year-old.

Actual reaction: "Let's go play over here, Carson!"


Seriously though, C had no clue about my own inner turmoil and thus had an amazing time at the park.  She was adventurous and did not shy away from the other kids, and she was also quiet and focused on her tasks.  She loved the dogs there and wanted to go down the slide again and again.  We're hoping for some more beautiful days this week so we can go again (and I can start to become a better-socialized parent)!

A Flurry of Newness, Part 2

This post has taken forever to write because it keeps changing! Carson is in a phase where things are happening so fast. She'll have a super-cute habit for a few days and then it's onto something else. I'm going to attempt to document...

First, 6 of my favorite seconds.  Don't know why she's hiding behind the lunchmeat, but she's so happy when she reveals herself & I 'find' her!

Here are some fun things Carson is up to lately:

running--the kid can take off these days, and she often does so with her head down toward the ground and her arms out behind her, like she's trying to be more aerodynamic. Too funny!

general business--she still loves putting objects into things and taking them out again. Her first sentence was, "I put it."  She can entertain herself for 30 minutes at a time just organizing her links or balls.  This video is of one of her favorite things to do for awhile.  She'd take these pretend pieces of mail and walk all around the room--setting them out, picking them up, and then doing it again somewhere else.  Hilarious to me.  She seemed to feel it was very important work. (side note: yes, our Christmas decorations were still out...but that doesn't necessarily mean it was a long time ago).

shape sorting--C woke up one morning and decided she had figured out how to use her shape sorter (you know, the bucket with a lid that has different-shaped holes in it). She needs help sometimes figuring out which hole to put them in, but she can get them all through. Same thing for a puzzle she has with different shapes on it--on this one, she can even figure out which one goes in which slot. Too cool.

Letters--suddenly, Carson is showing an interest in letters. I'm not sure if it's because we got her some letters for the fridge for Christmas or what, but whenever she sees letters (on a shirt, cup, etc), she starts pointing to them, asking us to identify each one. There are several letters or sounds she usually knows (Q, I, Y, O, P, C), but Q is by far her favorite letter.  I don't have the heart to tell her that, aside from the alphabet, she will rarely get to see the letter Q.

Pretending to read--I'll let this video do the talking.

And here is a quick mash of some other random videos from the past couple months:

A Flurry of Newness: Words

I'm way behind on my Carson-skills updates!  I'm breaking this into two posts, and I promise the next one isn't far behind and will include videos.

The biggest change lately are the advances in Carson's verbal skills.  Suddenly, she's trying to repeat everything we say (and it usually comes out as "dada" or "gaga" but she's getting there :)  ), even the words...a kid shouldn't say.  We're working on it.  But she's really enjoying being able to express herself more clearly.

Here are some new words she uses regularly and usually correctly (actual pronunciations in parentheses if different from the real one):

bow (buh)--always with hand on hair, indicating she'd like it put there--and honestly, it's usually the first thing out of her mouth in the morning.  She stands up in her crib, puts her hand on her head and asks for a bow...which makes me think I might have a girly-girl on my hands!
please (pweese), thank you (te-te)--we're so happy with her good manners!
whee!--said when going down the driveway, usually
help (opa)--somehow we raised her like she's at a Greek party
puzzle (buh-buh), circle (guh-guh)--pretty much all shapes are circles, purple (puh-puh)
yeah--sounds just like the real thing, and she says it whenever she wants to be included in a conversation or when she really means it.  It's hilarious.  She varies her inflections and tone of voice like she's just carrying on with us.
nah--thankfully, she doesn't yet know what nah means, but she uses it like she does 'yeah' when she wants to chat
night-night (nigh-nigh)--she says this when she's tired and ready to go to bed.  Just plops down on the floor wherever she is and says, "Night night."  My parents say I used to do this as well--put myself to bed when I was tired.  I love that she doesn't fight it!
laundry (da-dee)--her favorite thing to do
up, down--often says up when she means down.  Prepositions are tricky!
again (gan, geen)--she says this at the end of any book she wants to re-read, which is all of them.
Carson (Guh-guh)--it's so cool to see her recognize herself in photos and mirrors
Gram (guh), Grandma (guh-guh), Anna, Angie (anna)


And here are some recent pictures: