Here Goes Nothing...!

As I mentioned in my last post, I am headed to Las Vegas this weekend, and Carson will be without either Brandon or I for a few days.  There will actually only be one day that I don't physically get to see and hold Carson.  I expect it will feel much longer. 

I have lots of very strong, very mixed emotions about the trip. The biggest question I have is--is it too early to leave Carson for a weekend?  She'll be 3 months old when we get back.  But also, is it okay that I'm looking forward to the weekend away?

 

We are incredibly fortunate to have family close enough and willing enough to help out with a weekend like this.  My parents will be watching Carson one night, and Brandon's parents will stay with her the next night. See? It's only 2 nights. Our parents are taking care of her. What is there to worry about?

 

Here, I'll tell you:

What if she gets really sick?

What if it really is too early to leave her? (you can see I have delusions of being much more necessary than I actually am)

What if they run out of the milk I've been storing up for the past month and she starves?

What if Carson refuses to drink bottles from people she's not used to eating with and she starves?

What if they have to give her a bath and turn away for just a second and the unspeakable happens?

What if the refrigerator breaks and all the milk goes bad and she starves?

What if she won't stop crying for two days straight?

What if they don't know about SIDS and put a blanket in the crib with her and she suffocates?

What if she gets too hot while she's sleeping and overheats and suffocates?

What if she doesn't recognize us when we get back?

 

As you can see, I am a total nutcase about this.  Here's why none of these things will happen while Carson is with her grandparents:

 
None of them are complete idiots.

 

My dad is a pediatrician.

Brandon's dad is a retired firefighter and EMT.

Between our parents, they have raised 7 kids, none of whom starved, drowned, or suffocated.

 

They all love Carson and are watching her because they want to spend time with her and keep her safe.


In my heart, I really do believe the weekend will be fine and none of us will be irreparably scarred by it  :) I am really looking forward to freeing up some of the brain space that is used every moment of every day lately to anticipate, evaluate, and respond to a baby.  Don't get me wrong--I love doing it, love being with her and getting to know her as a person.  But this weekend, I can have a second cup of coffee without worrying if she will be up all night.  I can sleep without keeping one ear and eye on alert.  I can take medicine for the cold I caught from Carson without wondering if it's safe for her.  And best of all, I get to spend some quality time with my wonderful and amazing husband.  While we see each other every day at home, I still feel like I miss him lately--not for a lack of time spent in the same room but for a lack of focus on each other.  I can't wait to hang out with him! 

On another note--Brandon got a webcam for us to keep in touch while he is out of town this week.  So Carson has not had to go a day without seeing her dad.  It has been sooo much fun talking to and seeing Brandon while he's so far away. 
I wondered if Carson would "get" it--could she see the screen, recognize his voice, etc?  The answer is YES.  Her biggest smiles this week have been while we are talking to Brandon.  She just can't get enough of him, and I'm so glad they get to see and play with each other.  Brandon and I keep getting teared up, because it's just so sweet how happy she gets--smile after precious smile.

So wish us luck--all of us:

Brandon in Vegas,
the grandparents here with Carson,
and me--somewhere in between.

Vegas, baby!   Vegas.  Baby.

So, Brandon has officially left for his "work" conference in Las Vegas.  I put work in quotation marks, because there are so rarely any stories from these alleged work trips that actually relate to the work. 

But I digress. 

What this means is that Carson and I will be on our own most of the week.  I know this isn't the hugest mothering task there is.  I know it's not that big of a deal.  But it's a first for us, and so I'm nervous for a few reasons:

1. What if I can't do it?--meaning, what if the house burns down, I forget to change her diaper all day, or I somehow manage to do irreparable damage to her psyche during this time?  Damage we won't truly understand until years from now when her therapist traces it all back to abandonment and poor parenting at a very early age--somewhere around 3 months old.

2. Carson is now definitely sick for the first time.  I tried pretending the stuffy nose was just from the dry air, but now that the snot is escaping from every orifice of her face, I have to admit it.  She's sick.  We knew it would happen eventually.  I'm sure she'll be okay.  We were just hoping we'd be able to tag-team the illness the first time around.  Also, Brandon balances my neurotic paranoia and anxiety about (insert any aspect of our lives here) with calm, rational thought.  Which would be nice to have as I watch her laboring to breathe.

3. I have a small fear that the only reason Carson is as happy as she is is that she spends time with her dad every day.  It's possible she'll be just miserable without him.

4. Brandon is not known for his impulse control.  And he'll be in Vegas.  There's a chance Carson's college /wedding/food expenses will be gone by the time he returns.

5. It's going to be a long week during which I'll also be worrying about next weekend...which is when I fly out to Vegas too.

Yes, I'm going to Vegas next weekend with a couple of the other "wives".  This presents a whole new list of worries which I will get to in another post.

Do I really think Carson and I will be okay all week?  Probably so.  I think it will be a tough week but a good one too.  It has already been six hours and she has taken two naps, eaten, and walked around the yard and smiled at some trees.  We're going to be just fine.


And just for fun, here's a picture of Carson at bath time.  She LOVES the bath!

Baby Madelyn

So I have been working on this post for over a week now and just can't get it together.  I can't quite put into words all the wonderful things I want to say about the precious new baby who has entered our lives.  But I have to try, because you guys have to know how cool she is.  So here are a few random observations and pictures.

1. Even though Madelyn came 3 weeks ahead of schedule, she had quite a fan base waiting at the hospital for her to arrive.  About half the crew is shown in the waiting room below.  The other half is in the room with Toby and Angie visiting.

2.  She is so tiny!  Just barely bigger than Carson was at birth.  It's crazy to hold such a small baby again.

 3. I think she has the coolest baby hair I've ever seen.

4. One of my new favorite things is watching her brother Patrick with her.  He is SO loving, helpful, and sweet.

5. It's hard to believe Madelyn and Carson are only 2 months apart!  Look how GIANT Carson is next to her!

6. We tried to get a picture of the 3 cousins together, but Patrick was somehow always a blur.  Go figure :)
By the way, it's crazy that we've gone from having just one kid around to what feels like having a house full of kids at our family gatherings! 

7. Isn't she just the most beautiful thing???

Toby and Angie are doing such a great job balancing it all so far.  I can't imagine how exhausted they are, but it doesn't show as they take the time to focus on both kids at the same time, as well as each individually.  Hope everything goes smoothly next week when Toby returns to work!  And we can't wait to get to know Madelyn better as her personality develops!

Snow

Okay, so maybe the weekend was not so rapid-fire...I tried, I really did.  Here are a few pictures of the snow this past weekend, including our own little snow angel.  More soon.

Two Month Pictures

Sarah Wise and her husband Marc are great friends of ours.  Sarah is also an amazing photographer, lucky for us. 

Check out her website/photography blog--you won't be sorry!

SCW Photography

Sarah took some photographs of Carson not long after she was born and used them in the birth announcement she designed for us.

Last weekend, Sarah came over to take some more pictures of Carson and we were overjoyed again with the results.  Here are a few of our favorites:

Thank you Sarah for taking pictures that show how sweet, wonderful, and beautiful we always think Carson is :)

Rapid Fire Blogging and...Cooties Already?

Okay, so one thing about going back to work is that I have less time to update this blog.  So I am going to try to do a few in a row this weekend to get caught up.  Starting with...

Cooties Already???

Dave and Kace, some friends of ours, had a baby about a week and a half after Carson was born.  Their baby Judah is actually the first "friend" Carson ever made.  Here they are, meeting for the first time, both just a few days old:

Clearly, they are both fascinated with each other.

At the end of January, the three of them came over for dinner and some bonding over babies.  It's great to hang out with people at the exact same stage of parenting as us.  It is comforting to know other people are experiencing the same challenges, questions, and joys that we are.  While we were hanging out, we thought it would be cute to get some pics of the babies together, and here's how it all went down.  The whole situation reminded us of a middle school relationship--and lasted about as long as one.

Step 1--ignore

Step 2--he gets an idea

Step 3--play it cool

Step 4--Move....

in....

slowly....

Step 5--Make your move

Step 6--She's not interested

Step 7--Seriously, I don't want your cooties

Step 8--Feelings are hurt

and girl "doesn't understand" why he's so upset.  Can't we just be friends?

Thanks so much to Judah, Dave, and Kace for being such good sports and friends.  Maybe we'll try again this month.  And who knows--there might just be a real middle school relationship in their future!

Major Developments

So over the past few weeks, Carson has developed from a tiny baby who eats, sleeps, and poops into a real live person who does lots of other things.  Here are the highlights:



She is mobile.  Well, as mobile as a two month old gets.  At about 6 weeks, Carson rolled over to her back during "tummy time" (that's a phrase we learned as part of our new parent lingo).  At first, we thought it was a fluke accident, but she has continued to roll over since then.  No more putting her on the kitchen counters or on top of the car!


She is vocal.  Carson has discovered her voice.  And it's beautiful!  It's hilarious when she gets all worked up, arms and legs cycling, eyebrows going up and down, eyes full of excitement...and then her body finally remembers how to make a sound.  One little coo and she is so obviously and totally proud of herself.  And we are too--proud of her, that is. Not ourselves.


She is happy--about something other than passing gas.  This is by far Brandon's and my favorite new development.  While we always agreed with her that farts are hilarious, it's amazing to have her smile because she sees our faces looking back at her.  If you read my mom's blog about being a grandmother, you already knew about this development, but I have been a little slack in blogging lately.  The best is when the smiling and talking are combined.  Her changing table is her happiest and chattiest place in the world.  Something about being naked and poop-free just makes the girl grin.


She is growing.  When Carson went for her two-month check-up, she had gained 2 pounds exactly and had grown 2  whole inches.  I am jealous, because I have never grown 2 inches in anything short of a year, let alone in one month!  This also means she is beginning to outgrow her newborn clothes and diapers.  She is actually wearing 0-3 month clothes now.  It's fun to have a whole new wardrobe to try out every few months (provided mostly, of course, by her grandparents).


She is starting "day care."  I went back to work part-time this past week, and our fabulous friends Seth and Jana (whose fabulous blog can be viewed here) are sharing their home and their nanny with us.  Jana's sister Sara, whom I've known for about 15 years, is our nanny.  And that sentence just made me feel really old in so many ways.  So Sara, Carson, and Jana and Seth's precious daughter Lila hang out during the day, which has rocked poor Lila's world off its axis.  But Sara says each day is a little bit easier and Carson is gone for the afternoons, so Lila still gets a bit of one-on-one time too.  We're excited for Carson to start getting "socialized" at such a young age but to have the ability to still spend most of each day with her ourselves.  Such a blessing.


She has a new cousin!!!!  We are so excited to welcome Madelyn Claire Flowers to the world and to our family.  Because they are only 2 months apart, we have great visions of this pair growing up together, sharing clothes, getting ready for prom.......let's not get ahead of ourselves though.  Madelyn surprised us all by arriving 3 weeks early!  Her mom Angie, dad Toby, brother Patrick, and baby girl are all doing great!  Read more about her on their family's blog here .



So as you can see, we have been very busy lately--and that's my excuse for not posting in such a long time.  Yeah.  And I promise some pictures later this week.  Promise.